[NEFARIOUS]

They stopped making it?!? That was quick; I was just thinking about getting some fried chicken tonight!

Well, I've had it before; I've seen a similar review somewhere (but it was "White girl named Madeline raised around a Black family, but is now more health-conscious and makes it sensibly with well-drained oil and fresh lemonade, vs. Laquisha [or other stereotypical Black name] tossing it into the oil, doesn't bother even dripping it and serving it with Kool-Aid" or something; I can't find it), so I'll just start from scratch with my own opinion with a more inventive analogy... The sandwich I had was a bit hastily made so my review might be biased, but overall, this is how it stacks up to Chick-Fil-A:

Popeye's is like a hurried one-night-stand with an attractive girl from the club... She's a hella tasty snacc, but the act is rough around the edges in the same crusty sheets you haven't washed for 3 weeks at your dinky little apartment. She's got the skills, but the connection isn't there, and at the end of it all, it's still a toot-and-boot since you got work n' shit the next morning, and all you did was just satisfy a craving, and dare I say you even feel a bit dirty. Similarly, the buns were a bit crisped on one edge, the chicken was tasty but a bit rubbery, and they were rushing to get people rung up.

Chick-Fil-A is making love to your girlfriend or wife that you still have strong feelings for... Everything is well-balanced; the boudoir has nice, clean sheets, you know what makes her tick and she knows how to make you happy. Although she may not be a 10/10 like the snacc analogy above, you fell in love with her because of who she is as a person. It's almost heavenly looking into each other's eyes as you transcend into a world of pleasure, and you both fall into each other's embrace satiated and fulfilled as you've finished greatness. Similarly, the buns is the perfect texture, the meat is tender, well-balanced and well-cooked, and the customer service is great.