[JasH]

And eagerly awaited here is the official review from the absolute legend myself…. “Clarkson”.
Whilst Captain Slow was adamant that Clarkson was cheating by flying direct from London to Leipzig Captain Slow certainly lived up to his name departing much earlier leaving Kent for Stansted at 04:30am leaving Clarkson behind to sort all his work affairs out and casually make his way to the airport enjoying a nice tall beer in the departures lounge before boarding his plane. Clearly Captain slow wasn’t too disheartened by this!

An interest race was on our hands but it was clearly going to be very one sided. Clarkson tought about makin them observation that if he was on the same plan as Captain Slow he would have still been first at the Leipzig event but thought better of it! There would be plenty of time over the weekend to be his typically obnoxious self! Having done the journey to Leipzig before I was clearly at an advantage to my co presenters who had chosen other routes although this was my third trip to Leipzig and *Spoiler alert well worth the extra trip! These events differ every time and this one was no exception to the rule. Here is how things were looking as Clarkson started thinking about making his way to the airport….

So the race started getting interesting as Captain Slow did what he always does best sitting down and taking his time at the airport while the Stig and his companion were hurtling across France and making strong progress towards the border.
There was a humorous moment when the Stig relinquished the controls of the i8 to his companion and almost immediately they managed to have an encounter with a digger scoop the Stig taking a rare opportunity to shout various expletives. Thankfully there was no significant damage to the underside of the car the i8 is clearly well made!
We were getting constant updates from the Stig throughout his journey and Clarkson started grumbling as he’d only just realised the weather was forecasting rain for the trip and the UK weather was glorious

The Stig was making excellent progress while Captain Slow was again living up to his name as he missed his connecting train by 10 seconds as usual refusing to run despite Clarkson remarking that he should do so as he is quite clearly a Gentleman!
Clarkson was enjoying watching all of this from the comfort of the airport lounge. The Stig was north of Frankfurt and making good time. Seeing as Captain Slow had done the quick bit we were under the impression that the race was in the bag for the Stig!

Clarkson was keeping good track of the race and making sure to record screenshots from the find my friends App. The race came really close to the wire as Captain Slow arrived at the station as the Stig was entering Leipzig.

Captain Slow was luck he had a 7 series waiting for him at the train station. Clarkson realised the importance of timing here and told Captain Slow to inform the driver he was in a race and to get a move on!
Whilst Captain Slow relaxed and enjoyed the massage seating his driver got him to the Hotel first shortly followed by the Stig. Clarkson still hadn’t gotten on his plane and seemed likely to be missing the evening meal although he didn’t mind so long as he was able to enjoy a Stein or 2 at the bar!
The lovely formula E safety car was on display in the Hotel lobby Clarkson was happy to see this as he had driven it round the Berlin Formula E track on another event previously.
. Whilst the Stig and Captain Slow freshened up to enjoy dinner Clarkson was finally making his way to Leipzig and arrive late as expected with another couple from Britain who were on the same flight he arrived to see Captain Slow complaining that he hadn’t received his Dessert yet and laughed at the dismayed face he pulled when told he wouldn’t be getting any as the kitchen had served everything. The joys of a flying buffet.

I couldn’t comment on the food at this event’s dinner due to tardiness however the previous years had been excellent the Falco Restaurant is a flagship in Germany and the cuisine is stunning.
After a good nights rest at the Westin in Leipzig we proceeded the following day to the Plant to and we had the joys of enjoying an indepth lecture about the i8 with Captain Slow asking many probing and thought provoking questions. I had other ideas and wanted to ask the BMW engineers why they hadn’t upgraded the car and increased the POWER! Yet…! My i8 has been remapped to just over 400bhp combined output without rev limiter and top speed limiter so I was naturally intrigued to get there thoughts especially as mine is a “high mileage” example.


After a lovely lunch in the Bavarie Brasserie café we proceeded to have our tours around the plant. I was frustrated as I had specifically requested us to remain in the same groups but I had been separated for the tour. Captain Slow found this hilarious and commented that he had told the organisers to split us up. I was promptly cheered up by the lovely looking host guiding our tour around the plant and promptly spent the time flirting with her and didn’t remember much from the tour. (this happens to me at most events as Captain slow and the Stig would attest to!)
The tour was very impressive and we had the pleasure of seeing the production line and asking many questions about the car this process was fascinating even being my third time at the plant. We took some time out to enjoy looking around the Frozen Yellow edition which I was very tempted by but had to remember that I had an order placed for another car and couldn’t justify another i8!


The i8’s are mostly handbuilt and the production environment is very green with massive wind turbines outside powering the plant and also providing power to most of Leipzig apparently it was a lovely experience in all.



we made our way promptly back to the hotel and then went on the music tour (seeing as there was no other option before dinner!) Despite being a little soul draining there were a few highlights and not just the French i8 owners who clearly didn’t approve of us messing around!
The tour was translated twice which Clarkson found particularly humours firstly from German to English and then from English to German. We even had a translation from English to German to English at one stage which was interesting!

Part of our tour involved getting a full frontal view on one of Leipzig’s colourful members of the homeless community who promptly began to accost the tour guide in aggressive German. Captain Slow and the Stig were trying to maintain a straight face during this while I cracked up laughing.


The Stig’s companion was back in the Hotel enjoying PornHub on the VR Headset which we felt was the best place for him! In all honesty though Leipzig is a lovely City and I really enjoyed my third tour around the place there are some lovely sights and the people (apart from the above) are genuinely lovely.


Dinner that evening was held at the very interesting Kunst kraftwerk which is an Art Studio of sorts set up in an old disused factory. They put on a very intriguing projector show for us which everyone remarked on although it did remind Clarkson at times of the war which he refrained from commenting on too loudly!


There were some very interesting conversations over dinner including Captain Slow virtually dominating the time of the Leipzig Plant over dinner. Clarkson promptly decided to engage in conversation elsewhere as he couldn’t be torn away from the conversation which promptly led him to place an order for another upcoming car from the “M” Division.
The Stig was enjoying the party and the music upstairs in the loft area although Clarkson and Captain slow were tired so they decided to call it a night considering how busy there day trip to Berlin tomorrow would be. They started to descend the staircase to leave the event Clarkson remarking that these were very rickety metal stairs and that someone could easily fall down. It was at that exact moment (the timing couldn’t have been any better) that he lost his footing and tumbled down the stairs almost taking Captain Slow out in the process. Thankfully I was ok but this caused much hilarity especially when the Stig found out the following day!
Picture below taken just before the “incident!”

Effectively this concluded the event and the team went their separate ways the following morning. Stig and his companion driving back to the UK and Captain Slow and Clarkson making their way across to Berlin to spend the day in an amazing City together before their late night flight back to the UK.
After breakfast Captain Slow and I headed to the airport to collect our rented car and weren’t expecting much we were tempted to ask the chauffeur 7 series driver to take us the whole way home especially when all the blinds and massage seats were lowered and turned on respectively.
Upon arriving at the rental car Clarkson was ashamed to see a Grey Ford Galaxy people carrier waiting him. It was far too big for its purpose and Clarkson didn’t hold out much hope of getting a high speed on the autobahn.
Whilst the Galaxy wasn’t fast Clarkson spent most of the journey screaming POWER! Whilst putting his foot down eventually getting the Galaxy to its top speed of around 135mph! We got to Berlin in no time!

Both Captain Slow and I had an excellent trip and enjoyed ourselves in Berlin. I’ll share a few highlights below.
Captain Slow thought he was being funny by telling everyone else that he hadn’t seen Clarkson all morning and didn’t know where he was. This joke seemed to have the desired affect with Stig and his companion acting “concerned” before the following was sent to confirm we were indeed together…

Clarkson then promptly discovered a car that suited Captain Slow down to the ground…

And Captain Slow tried to push Clarkson into a pond…

Although what goes on in Berlin clearly stays in Berlin – Clarkson experienced an interesting Massage Parlour in the Berlin City centre. Captain slow remarked on Whatsapp that he had been in twice for only a couple of minutes at a time. Clarkson was starting to get frustrated!

The highlight for Captain Slow was clearly the Trabant museum and he remarked that he would be keen to get one as a replacement for the i8. The interior being the main selling point. Clarkson agreed – expect to see a few Trabants in his car collection shortly!

We really enjoyed our day in Berlin and spotted lots of interesting and humorous things with Clarksons humour really showing through at times with his photographs..


We rounded our City centre trip off and spotted a chap with a crudely drawn phallic drawing on his chest remarking on the love he has for his mother which Captain Slow seemed strangely interested in!



In all seriousness however Berlin is a lovely City and for those who haven’t been I can highly recommend it I will be back soon but that’s because I spend a lot of time in Germany (mostly due to the autobahns!)


The final stop for our tour was to visit Classic Remise which is a Car Collection of sorts and a vintage and collectible car restoration business. Entry was free and for Clarkson this was the highlight of the trip. I had wanted to visit previously but didn’t have the time on the previous Berlin Formula E event. Below are a couple of pictures from the museum however these don’t do it justice.




We were uploading pictures of the museum to Whatsapp while we were looking round and the Stig was increasingly infuritated by these reminders of Captain Slow and Clarkson enjoying himself especially while he was queuing up for the Channel Tunnel

So the race home wasn’t really a race although the interesting race was between Captain slow and Clarkson who were travelling at similar times back from Berlin and Leipzig airport respectively. Clarkson won this race and he was happy to win something over the weekend!

Thanks again to BMW for treating us like such VIP’s the hospitality and experience was top class.
Next up the write up from the Maisach BMW i meets M Track day…..