OMG I laughed hard at this thread. Not at your discomfort Spool, cause that ain't right, but OMG the tags
I know what you went through, and I NEVER eat a chinese buffets on account of it. I once had to go lights and sirens back to the station, run in whilst ripping off my belt, vest and other equipment so that I didn't shit my uniform. I was a very close thing, and my co-workers knew not to get in my way just by the look on my face!
Glad you are ok and that you have a sense of humor about this!