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      03-02-2020, 06:52 AM   #10
MKSixer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Salty Dog View Post
This is a boundary thing as roastbeef said, you have to decide how much latitude you're willing to give her, is this the hill you want to die on? If these visits are few and far between then maybe it isn't worth the grief, if she's going to be a regular house guest and staying for days at a time then you will have to decide if you can live with it or not. Is this worth fighting with your wife over? How would you feel if your mother came over and did the same thing and your wife was complaining about it.

Good Luck
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottSinger View Post
I'm siding with the mother-in-law and the wife.

If the in-law is there and guest are arriving and you have rolls of paper towels in the foyer and a blanket strewn across the living room sofa...
Combination of these two, I feel.

When guest come to your home, you must exhibit host behavior and roll out the red carpet. This is a non-negotiable. You have to remember that there is guy clean and girl clean. I'm fastidious and have a housekeeper that comes over but when my I have a friend over, they can always find something to improve. It's not realistic to believe that it won't happen.

Now to move to her behavior and your wife. This is something that you and your wife MUST sort out or you will be miserable. Decide what hill you want to die on. Have a hard sit-down with your wife and unite on a decision then a strategy. Your mother in law is your wife's mom and if you hold your wife in esteem, and you obviously do since you married her, you have to consider her feelings.

Once you decide, have a sit-down with your mother-in-law and determine her role when she is a guest in your house. Always remember your role as the man of the house and leader. This will keep the respect you've earned.
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