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      11-09-2018, 01:24 PM   #324

Drives: 2019 X5 Msport
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Greenville, SC

iTrader: (0)

Originally Posted by Lups View Post
Oh come the fuck on, I have the credentials for staying tight, for keeping it real!

Actually, this is a serious topic so I shall adress it as such.

Even as a kid I kept wondering wtf people were talking about when they said they laughed so hard they peed their pants. When our first kid was born, my first question to the doctor was how I could strengthen my muscles enough to prevent elderly wet pants and I got a weird look from her, undeserved in my view since the kid was out in one push. Seriously, in the medical record, one minute is the recorded pushing time

Anyway, the doctor, who also examined me said she thinks I will be okay. In Finland we have this thing where the midwives inspect the kids and the mother's for months after birth to ensure all is going okay and that was always my question, how not to wet my pants.

When I was expecting our second kid, I volunteered at this program where really young mothers , mostly single ones would have a prego buddy. Mine was a midwife student so I asked her why that was the answer I got.

She had access to my medical files and she started to wonder it also, after she read mine.

Apparently mine said that basically my muscle structure was weird. Apparently all that skating makes me an ice sculpture that pops out kids, and then goes back to "form".

That all was in my 20's.

I had a nice gynegologist appointment while on heavy dosage of muscle relaxants two weeks ago. My guy is way past his prime and since he saw I was on meds that makes women leak like crazy, he asked me how I handle the side effect. I told him I haven't felt that, so he ran urine tests since I must have been dehydrated. I told him that that has never, not once in my life happened to me, even after giving birth so he insisted on doing a pelvic muscle exam (if one doesn't know, it's basically two fingers up in your vagina, and you have to clamp down on them.) I told him that if I do that, I will end up coughing and that it will be not conventional. He had his students there so he was trying to prove a point, muscle relaxants and a few kids equals wet pants.

Well, he didn't get what he wanted, he got the coughing fit but no leaking, and I was fully hydrated. He said to his students that skaters have cyborg muscle control. Since I had six doctors and a specialist in the room, I asked again, if I should do something to help my bladder for the years to come and he gave me a tip.

"If you want to have sex, lubrication, even external is a good idea."

I gathered from that that I could push out a kid or five out and still be okay, but also that the penises i made bleed (literally) in my wilder days (My then fiance and funnily enough the rebound after him) might have not been so wrong then they shouted out the age old words "please don't squeeze me more" for fun.

Sorry, not sorry, I'm big on kids. As told here back in the days when I lived in the usa, I babysat a fosterbaby 12-18 hours a day for free. I'm also always a free babysitter to all my friends kids no matter the age since I would have eight of my own by now if I had any talent at being pregnant.

Hmmm, am going to check out the skating rinks for my next girlfriend... don’t tell my wife.
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