Quote:
Originally Posted by sygazelle
As a person happily married for many years I will offer another point of view:
Marriage is not for everybody. I get that. If the OP feels this way he should certainly consider not getting married.
For us, a successful marriage meant buying into the whole concept of marriage and the vows that we shared.
We agreed when we had kids that my wife would stay home with the kids until they got through school. I was lucky enough to have a career where we could afford to do that. But even though I was the "breadwinner", I never once thought of our assets as my money. Without my wife's support, I never would have finished college or grad school. Without her taking care of the home front, I never could have had the time to focus on my career and earn what I earned over the years. I was still very involved at home and with the kids, but my wife stepped up and took care of things so I could concentrate on my career.
We have had a great life and a great relationship. Our two kids are raised and through college and between them they have 6 kids (our grand kids). To me, our situation is priceless. So to answer the OP's question, I would get married nowadays in a heartbeat if I had to do it over again.
Back to the point of the $3.5 million per year that Dr. Dre's wife gets in the settlement: That's NOT his money that he is giving her. That's THEIR money that they chose to settle on as an annual payment out of their marriage assets. This notion that no pussy is worth $300k per month is not quite accurate since it was her money too according to the law.
I have no idea if Dr. Dre's career would have flourished the way that it did without his wife by his side all of these years. You'd have to ask him that. But, the $3.5 million per year is only 1/3 of one percent of his assets. To put that into perspective, if a regular guy with $500,000 in assets gets divorced, this settlement would equal only $1,750 per year to the wife. I think most guys would be very happy with such a settlement.
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And I think this is what everyone is hopeful when they get married and what they plan to happen.
But here is another point of view for you - why could you not have had everything you mentioned above - without being married? In my opinion you could. Commitment to me is not something I make to the state for a piece of paper - it is something I make to whomever I choose to spend my life with.
If we take religion out of it - marriage is just incorporating your commitment in the laws eyes. I have absolutely nothing at all against marriage for the record, even though I have never been married. I have however seen marriage ruin a lot of peoples lives - women and men. Usually their faults though.
I do love seeing it when it works like in your case, that is what everyone should hope for when going into it. A partnership though the good and especially the bad. So many people do it for the wrong reasons or with Hollywood movie dreams of what it will be and then cut and run as soon as the toothpaste is squeezed from the wrong end. Kudos to you - making it that far you had to weather some storms for sure. Nice work.