12-16-2020, 09:36 AM | #7437 |
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pennsiveguy3552.00 King Rudi13159.00 |
12-16-2020, 09:38 AM | #7438 | |
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You're both adults, communication makes or breaks relationships with me. If I have an argument with someone and ask them what is wrong and they repeatedly say "nothing" they are either unsure of their own feelings, or they are hiding something, both are bad. Communicate what's bothering you, that's what adults do. If your past is an issue for her, she needs to communicate that. She may never be able to accept it, and unfortunately that will be the end of your relationship. Rightfully so, because you don't want to be with someone who will constantly hold something over your head that you can't change the entire time you are together, it will never improve if they do so. There's always the stereotype that women don't communicate their thoughts and men struggle to understand what they are thinking, but it's not true for everyone. Not all people are crazy, and many times men do the same thing. You have reached a breaking point in your relationship. You either need to fix it or move on. If she wants to keep you, she needs to overcome her feelings toward your past and accept you. Otherwise, it's time to move on. Relationships have challenges, but life is too short to be unhappy if that ends up really being the case. The first step to fixing anything is acknowledging there is a problem, if she keeps denying anything is wrong, you won't get anywhere no matter what you try. |
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12-16-2020, 09:46 AM | #7439 | |
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12-16-2020, 09:49 AM | #7440 | |
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And I'm glad that you got a heartfelt apology, because those are rare and priceless. A real apology is tough to pull off, and most people suck at them. They'll be doing great for about 10 seconds and then blow the whole thing by uttering the word "but" and then proceed to tell you why they're really not sorry, and that your car looks better with that big dent in the hood.
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12-16-2020, 09:55 AM | #7441 | |
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12-16-2020, 09:56 AM | #7442 | |
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King Rudi13159.00 |
12-16-2020, 11:16 AM | #7443 | |
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You and I sound similar in the fact that we are logical through the arguments. Error number 1, logical thinking in an argument is hand and hand with belittlement - from what I've come to understand. I've come to just listen, and even when I know I can throw it back in her face I don't. It's like walking a tight rope, but at the other end she is holding it and you can't turn around. Eventually you'll get to her, but she has the option to shake you up along the way. Hence my original comment. |
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King Rudi13159.00 |
12-16-2020, 11:40 AM | #7444 | |
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I've been giving advice all through this thread. It's nice to be able to get some quality feedback in return. Thanks to all of you. |
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JP102472.50 pennsiveguy3552.00 |
12-16-2020, 12:11 PM | #7445 | ||
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How badly do you want to fuck up your life?
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12-16-2020, 04:29 PM | #7447 | |
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I think you should know what happened to me yesterday before your request is processed.
I go to old people walks. As in, my friends and I go walk our dogs together. Sadly we all have spouses and kids, so the only time we have to do it is around 4 or 5 am. They all know me, so there hasn't been a ton of takers this week to go with me. Apparently covid is a valid excuse to avoid me too! You see, this is budget week. I've gone through all receipts, counted every penny, calculated expenses and I blew a fuse or two when I realized our electricity bill and water bill have gone up like 25% each this year. Sounds horrible but this house is heated with electricity and with water combined they were less than 3k. Grocery bills went down a ton, entertainment bills even more. So there I was, at 4.30 am steaming over our absolutely overblown water bill for the year wasteful living and then I congratulated myself for cutting costs on some areas at least. "Entertainment you say? So pornhub did the free coverage in finland too?" There i was, on a potato field waiting for our dogs to shit while ranting about how bad my annual charts are looking and I got made fun of by the only person who still talks to me during my financial crisis week of the year. In about 20 minutes I had like 20 awesome comebacks ready, sadly in the moment, all I did was wallow on self pity cuz I had already spent money on his Christmas gift. I'm really bad with people
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12-17-2020, 02:44 AM | #7448 |
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Ha, Im gonna direct you to Greta Thunfish, she would argue you about wasting CO2 and thats bad to the bone
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12-17-2020, 06:36 AM | #7449 | |
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12-17-2020, 10:08 AM | #7450 | |
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example: Me: Master, why is it that so many ladies seem interested, yet none will commit? You: I dropped a hammer on my foot today and a bird shat on my head. Go young grasshopper, I grow weary of your bullshit now. |
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12-17-2020, 12:54 PM | #7452 | ||||
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12-17-2020, 12:55 PM | #7453 | |
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I'll leave the long story business out, but I'm totally keeping "You have a point and I must agree." |
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12-17-2020, 12:57 PM | #7454 | |
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12-17-2020, 01:29 PM | #7455 | ||
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Be quick tho, I have a hairbrush in my sight and those are fast to disappear in my house.
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King Rudi13159.00 |
12-17-2020, 01:54 PM | #7456 | |
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My previous girlfriend had been ridiculed quite a bit as a child. Her parents were assholes and instigated a lot of rivalry and mutual envy between the siblings over silly superficial stuff. She ended up, not surprisingly, with some pretty significant insecurities. When they weren't flaring up, I could do pretty much as I pleased with my time, subject to the usual common courtesy and consideration; if I said I was probably going to be home around 5 and it was 5:30, she was glad to see me.
But when her insecurities were triggered, everything changed. Her coping mechanisms for feeling insecure were controlling behavior and nitpicking. If I said I was going to be home at 5 and didn't make it home until 5:15, there was going to be some discussion. If I got home at 2 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and wanted to catch a quick nap before dinner - even though we didn't have any plans - that wasn't cool either. One time when I was making pork chops for us - in my kitchen, mind you - she insisted on showing me how to arrange the chops in the pan. As if there was some magical trick to that which I couldn't figure out on my own. Totally insulting. I don't give a fuck if you're Jacques Pepin, you don't step into someone else's kitchen and start nitpicking them or bossing them around. I told her to go lay by her dish and lick her butt, which didn't go over too well. I have zero tolerance for being the target of someone's control fetishes or insecurities or impulsive behavior. The inconsistency and unpredictability was crazy-making and exhausting. It got to where I didn't know which version of her I'd be experiencing. In the end, it was too much. I'd rather come home to an empty but peaceful home than to be putting the key in the lock and wondering if I was going to catch hell for something minor before I'd even taken my shoes off. Quote:
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nyalpine907444.00 King Rudi13159.00 Turkish Pickle3084.00 IllSic_Design2124.00 Dang3r12516.00 SYT_Shadow11511.00 |
12-17-2020, 02:45 PM | #7457 |
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King Rudi13159.00 pennsiveguy3552.00 |
12-17-2020, 03:56 PM | #7458 |
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Damn, the few days I was away lots went down it seems
King Rudi dude in all honesty I thought you two broke up a while back and that was that... I don't know why I thought that. I'll throw in some niceties into the thread; Monday was 4 months with her, the house purchase going well, finished school once and for all (I hope, at least, still need to see the final grades), job ready, and I have an indefinite amount of time of vacation in the mean time because I need to get my paperwork. I came to the city a bit early today, booked a hotel for us since she lands at 10p and I didn't want to drive 2-2.5hrs that late. Currently hanging out in the room by myself planning for the night |
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