BMW i
Forum for the BMW i3, i4 and i8
BMW i3 BMW i8
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

  BMW i Forums > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      09-19-2020, 07:52 AM   #67
Lups
...
Lups's Avatar
11279
Rep
15,388
Posts

Drives: I don't own a car.
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lost as usual

iTrader: (0)

The man is shaving. I'm not getting my hopes up just yet, the last time he did that, he gave himself the Lemmy Kilmister moustache. I cried that day.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta0311 View Post
How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
Appreciate 3
Dang3r4512.50

      09-19-2020, 07:53 AM   #68
Lups
...
Lups's Avatar
11279
Rep
15,388
Posts

Drives: I don't own a car.
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lost as usual

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
That good conduct thing might be a little hard to manage.

There is one thing, though. Quarantine has triggered some really bad insomnia in me. She, on the other hand, rolls right over and falls asleep. It really irritates me so i find subtle ways to wake her up by bouncing the bed, making noises, turning on the light, etc.

This morning Im reading BPost in bed and she wakes up, stretches, smiles at me lovingly and said i had the most interesting dream...

I said oh yeah, hunny? What was it?

I dreamed that i murdered a man who kept trying to wake me up
Buahahaahahaahahaaaa!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta0311 View Post
How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
Appreciate 1
UncleWede10395.00

      09-19-2020, 08:57 AM   #69
floridaorange
Colonel
floridaorange's Avatar
United_States
1895
Rep
2,240
Posts

Drives: 2013 bmw 320i xdrive
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: orlando, fl

iTrader: (1)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
My marriage is going fine but I would like to learn a strategy to make my wife want to give me footrubs

My wife is like that, foot rubs really put her in a very relaxed place before bed. I know it's important to her and I love her so I do them.

It may be as simple as looking her in the eye and simply explaining that it really helps you sleep and feel relaxed if she would give you a 10 min foot rub at night.

GL
__________________
Stage 2 BM3

Quote:
Originally Posted by GrussGott View Post
Sounds pizzagatey.
Appreciate 2
Lups11278.50
Darth One4050.50

      09-19-2020, 11:14 AM   #70
Darth One
drunk poster
Darth One's Avatar
United_States
4051
Rep
2,931
Posts

Drives: M4 GTS | E46 M3
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

I was gonna try to trade sex for the footrub, but I think I like your approach better
Appreciate 2
Lups11278.50

      09-19-2020, 03:41 PM   #71
floridaorange
Colonel
floridaorange's Avatar
United_States
1895
Rep
2,240
Posts

Drives: 2013 bmw 320i xdrive
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: orlando, fl

iTrader: (1)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
I was gonna try to trade sex for the footrub, but I think I like your approach better
Foot rubs lead to more sex, in general, you're a fast learner gwasshoppa
__________________
Stage 2 BM3

Quote:
Originally Posted by GrussGott View Post
Sounds pizzagatey.
Appreciate 1
Lups11278.50

      09-19-2020, 03:57 PM   #72
Lups
...
Lups's Avatar
11279
Rep
15,388
Posts

Drives: I don't own a car.
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lost as usual

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
If that happens, then from a complete noob investor to a seasoned investor, I have the following question for you:

Is there a way to "short" Finland? Like, as a nation?


Because if what you say is representative of how other women are feeling, I'm forecasting a sudden shortage of engineers and a corresponding increase in incarcerated women serving murder sentences...

Maybe I should call the tire shop now and place an order for some Hakkapeliittas to make sure I'm first in line for what should be some reduced production.
I kept thinking about this, and I think I found a way, and we should make a bet over this.

Edit. Nevermind. Father-in-law got his surgery moved up so I there went my free time.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta0311 View Post
How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?

Last edited by Lups; 09-20-2020 at 01:31 AM..
Appreciate 0
      09-21-2020, 06:35 AM   #73
F32Fleet
Major General
F32Fleet's Avatar
United_States
1228
Rep
9,061
Posts

Drives: 2015 435i
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Southeastern US

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
I might cry from relief this morning! Hubby told me last late spring he is switching jobs but I completely had forgotten about it. Thanks to covid, all Finnish engineers have been stuck in their home offices from late February, which has been hell.

With the unemployment numbers climbing here too, we should all be happy to to have the financial security we have but instead of course our Finnish mentality makes my friends and I complain endlessly. The engineers, which is our entire male population i think, make this easy.

It's like the men have spent most of the year perfecting the art of annoying us. Our dearest family friend now spends time shopping for pants that wouldnt make an annoying swoosh sounds while her husband obsessively rubs his own tighs while in conference calls. She has sworn from march on the sound comes to her dreams. It has come to a point where the hubby has to go to their summer home to work so she can work from their home. He is no longer allowed to wear pants at home at all.

There has been stories about wives burning all pens in houses. The constant clicking has become an issue. One of my neighbors is contemplating murder because of constant ankle rolling.

*warning: heavy lying ahead*
I'm an extra calm person, not at all temperamental ever so what my hubby does has gone down well here. *end of lying*

When he started working from home, stealing my study mind you, he stopped shaving. The blotches, the hair pointing everywhere, the man looks like a half skinned bear. I've stopped putting on lights because I can't watch it. Of course that's not all of it.

Thanks to covid, he has been naming animals he feeds outside. Birds, squirrels, a hedgehog. They all have individual names. He has charts of sightings of them. He imitates them, for example a few weeks ago he saw a squirrel using it's tail as an umbrella, he started to rub his back while commenting on the newly discovered ability of the bushy rat. Now I can't look at the man without seeing him with a tail.

Then there is the licking of the ugliest moustache ever grown. The sound has gotten ingrained to my brain and I'm pretty sure that's the only sound produced by a human that can penetrate through my 50 cm thick concrete floor.

My brothers wife is a prosecutor and I asked her if all these things can be used to argue self defense. Since the dear brother has taken up rubbing his belly all day, every day, she thinks I should test this. A crime of passion it would be not.

It is only fair to admit that us ladies are not doing much better. One of my friends is now a compulsive knitter, one is painting bad art, I have so many new power tools I should start leasing them out just to have some floor space even for a bit. I also have a salvaged wood collection rottening on my yard and I'm trying to find a cabin to buy from an island, preferably a few hundred miles away from home. My neighbor has a bonsai tree forest on her yard cuz she keeps trimming them all day, every day.

I'm hoping he will shave to fetch new gear from the new company. That's my only hope I'm holding on to. Considering they all are looking like bears these days it is a slim hope, but that's all I have.

Anyway. I should be reading a boring report on how the economy is doing and adjusting a piece of portfolio according to the info, but I swear I keep hearing the moustache licking from the other side of the house. The neighbor is cutting shit on her yard so I'm guessing ankles are rolling there.

I'm telling you guys, married folks should not have to endure spending time together. This is hell.

Are you all doing better than us?
Great to see that you're still around. Funny as ever.

Oh and my situation isn't really better or worse. I'm just hesitant to put anything in writing. lol
__________________
"Drive more, worry less. "

435i, MPPK, MPE, M-Sport Line
Appreciate 1
Lups11278.50

      09-21-2020, 08:08 AM   #74
Joekerr
Is Joe King
Joekerr's Avatar
6488
Rep
1,878
Posts

Drives: 2017 Audi S6
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto, ON

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
I kept thinking about this, and I think I found a way, and we should make a bet over this.

Edit. Nevermind. Father-in-law got his surgery moved up so I there went my free time.
Such a tease. Your husband must be some sort of saint.

I hope your FIL's surgery goes well, with no complications. There's always risks, but hopefully he sails right through.

I have to go for a colonoscopy on the 30th and I am NOT looking forward to it. Minor procedure, but nonetheless. I have an awesome gastro doing it though, one of my wife's colleagues and I have heard really good things about her, so I know I'm in good hands. Just praying I don't get a perforation.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Joe's mind and vocabulary are much like being served something that you don't want to swallow on a 24k gold platter.....with 5 star service.
Appreciate 1
Lups11278.50

      09-21-2020, 09:22 AM   #75
c1pher
Primo Generalissimo
United_States
2135
Rep
2,820
Posts

Drives: Porsche 911 Targa GTS
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: DC area

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
More time for sex, more home cooked meals, more time to work on the cars and yard, more time to exercise together and enjoy hot tub. It's been awesome for me personally.
Appreciate 3
Nachbar559.50
Bunnny31.00

      09-21-2020, 09:26 AM   #76
KenB925
Second Lieutenant
843
Rep
254
Posts

Drives: ZL1, Raptor
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Bay Area, CA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
Cooking is my favourite hobby and letting the spouse attempt his skills in it has not been fun. I'd be very careful about her equipment.
Indeed, it is an unspoken rule that my knife roll, and my pots and pans are not to be messed with.
Appreciate 0
      09-21-2020, 09:27 AM   #77
Darth One
drunk poster
Darth One's Avatar
United_States
4051
Rep
2,931
Posts

Drives: M4 GTS | E46 M3
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
I have to go for a colonoscopy

...

I'm in good hands.
Hehe
Appreciate 1
UncleWede10395.00

      09-21-2020, 09:43 AM   #78
Nachbar
Lieutenant
Nachbar's Avatar
Switzerland
560
Rep
531
Posts

Drives: i8
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Switzerland

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by c1pher View Post
More time for sex, more home cooked meals, more time to work on the cars and yard, more time to exercise together and enjoy hot tub. It's been awesome for me personally.
Same here
Appreciate 0
      09-21-2020, 09:56 AM   #79
Joekerr
Is Joe King
Joekerr's Avatar
6488
Rep
1,878
Posts

Drives: 2017 Audi S6
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto, ON

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
Hehe
Only you...
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Joe's mind and vocabulary are much like being served something that you don't want to swallow on a 24k gold platter.....with 5 star service.
Appreciate 0
      09-21-2020, 10:38 AM   #80
c1pher
Primo Generalissimo
United_States
2135
Rep
2,820
Posts

Drives: Porsche 911 Targa GTS
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: DC area

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nachbar View Post
Same here
Oh and getting coffee handed to me by my wife first thing in the morning with just a long t shirt on.....:-)

Ah, the simple things.
Appreciate 0
      09-21-2020, 11:20 AM   #81
Nachbar
Lieutenant
Nachbar's Avatar
Switzerland
560
Rep
531
Posts

Drives: i8
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Switzerland

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by c1pher View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nachbar View Post
Same here
Oh and getting coffee handed to me by my wife first thing in the morning with just a long t shirt on.....:-)

Ah, the simple things.
There we differ I don't drink Coffee. But she's nice to me too
Appreciate 0
      09-21-2020, 11:31 AM   #82
Lups
...
Lups's Avatar
11279
Rep
15,388
Posts

Drives: I don't own a car.
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lost as usual

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by F32Fleet View Post
Great to see that you're still around. Funny as ever.

Oh and my situation isn't really better or worse. I'm just hesitant to put anything in writing. lol

It is not in my nature to take life too seriously.

Good seeing you too around, all good?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Such a tease. Your husband must be some sort of saint.

I hope your FIL's surgery goes well, with no complications. There's always risks, but hopefully he sails right through.

I have to go for a colonoscopy on the 30th and I am NOT looking forward to it. Minor procedure, but nonetheless. I have an awesome gastro doing it though, one of my wife's colleagues and I have heard really good things about her, so I know I'm in good hands. Just praying I don't get a perforation.
Neh, it got a bit complicated and this week will get rough this morning started with the first inquiry over hardware for homeschooling.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KenB925 View Post
Indeed, it is an unspoken rule that my knife roll, and my pots and pans are not to be messed with.
I have nightmares about him doing nasty shit with my pans. Not the kinky kind, just touching them with his bad ingredients combining mind. Even the kids refuse the shit he tries to cook. The kids are allowed to use my pans, pots, kitchen in general.

Quote:
Originally Posted by c1pher View Post
More time for sex, more home cooked meals, more time to work on the cars and yard, more time to exercise together and enjoy hot tub. It's been awesome for me personally.
Oh fuck off.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta0311 View Post
How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?

Last edited by Lups; 09-21-2020 at 03:49 PM..
Appreciate 0
      09-21-2020, 12:23 PM   #83
Joekerr
Is Joe King
Joekerr's Avatar
6488
Rep
1,878
Posts

Drives: 2017 Audi S6
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto, ON

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
Neh, it got a bit complicated and this week will get rough this morning started with the first inquiry over hardware for homeschooling.
Oh did he have the surgery already? Hope no serious complications.

Oh, and knives. Knives are the answer with respect to the inquiry over appropriate hardware for homeschooling.

I'm envisioning some sort of "death race" structure, where they all start out with just their fists and feet, but additional "hardware" is rewarded for hitting certain checkpoints. They can level up to baseball bats, knives, etc. Be creative. Great way to find out which of your spawn has the strongest will to survive...
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Joe's mind and vocabulary are much like being served something that you don't want to swallow on a 24k gold platter.....with 5 star service.
Appreciate 1
Lups11278.50

      09-21-2020, 12:32 PM   #84
Lups
...
Lups's Avatar
11279
Rep
15,388
Posts

Drives: I don't own a car.
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lost as usual

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Oh did he have the surgery already? Hope no serious complications.

Oh, and knives. Knives are the answer with respect to the inquiry over appropriate hardware for homeschooling.

I'm envisioning some sort of "death race" structure, where they all start out with just their fists and feet, but additional "hardware" is rewarded for hitting certain checkpoints. They can level up to baseball bats, knives, etc. Be creative. Great way to find out which of your spawn has the strongest will to survive...
Yeah, he had one. Unfortunately they know me too well and try to keep me in the dark for as long as possible. He has been running around for bloodwork and shit for a while now. YOU KNOW HOW CALM I GET WITH THE PEOPLE I LOVE!!!!

Fuck me running...

Sorry about not commenting on your arse probe, but you know me well enough to know everything that was going to get out was going to be shitty.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta0311 View Post
How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
Appreciate 1
Joekerr6487.50

      09-21-2020, 12:58 PM   #85
Joekerr
Is Joe King
Joekerr's Avatar
6488
Rep
1,878
Posts

Drives: 2017 Audi S6
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto, ON

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post

Sorry about not commenting on your arse probe, but you know me well enough to know everything that was going to get out was going to be shitty.
Very punny, and I do, but I thought I'd lob one in there soft and low just to gauge where you are at.

Honestly, hope your FIL gets better soon and this is something that can be fixed!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Joe's mind and vocabulary are much like being served something that you don't want to swallow on a 24k gold platter.....with 5 star service.
Appreciate 1
Lups11278.50

      09-21-2020, 01:21 PM   #86
Lups
...
Lups's Avatar
11279
Rep
15,388
Posts

Drives: I don't own a car.
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lost as usual

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Very punny, and I do, but I thought I'd lob one in there soft and low just to gauge where you are at.

Honestly, hope your FIL gets better soon and this is something that can be fixed!
Yeah, it appears not to be anything serious with him but he is 70, has a mild type 2 diabetes and covid is having a go here again so I freak out a lot. I love that old man to bits. Like seriously love him, he could borrow my cooking knives, seriously.

Your arse will be in my mind too now, which I promise happens seldom with my canadian friends.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta0311 View Post
How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?

Last edited by Lups; 09-21-2020 at 03:51 PM..
Appreciate 1
Joekerr6487.50

      09-21-2020, 01:36 PM   #87
UncleWede
Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner
UncleWede's Avatar
United_States
10395
Rep
8,627
Posts

Drives: E90 325i Arctic
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Oxnard, CA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Only you...
WRONG

I was going to wish you warm hands, but that wouldn't work in Canadia.
Appreciate 1
Lups11278.50

      09-21-2020, 02:55 PM   #88
Lups
...
Lups's Avatar
11279
Rep
15,388
Posts

Drives: I don't own a car.
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lost as usual

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ksafimova View Post
I am happily married now. But it was not always so. When we just met, everything was fine. Like many couples, after we got married, we started to quarrel. They were so stupid. And all because the routine began. Every day the same thing - it was so tiring. All this led to the fact that there was no passion between us. When we decided to talk about what needs to be done to improve our relationship. We began to spend more time together and set our priorities in life more correctly. We shared hobbies and oddities. For example, we can go to a strip club together, or sit on a webcam. So we became closer and our relationship improved significantly.We also started going to paint together, now we paint houses on canvases. It's very romantic for me. Look for common hobbies and you will be great!
I'm not going to support the camera ready advices here though they're not a bad idea either. I absolutely think you're on to something here.

An example, the thigh rubbing issue couple. They've been married for 30 years, they're actually in their early fifties, not in their sixties like I wrote before.

There has been huge issues there since the hubby has been running major companies here for the last 20 years. Great money, tons of moving abroad, twins, and the wife has been suffering from depression for 30 years, undetected for 25.

In the last 10 years, they've made huge lifestyle changes like buying a cabin, and inviting their friends to fix shit there for them. I've built patios, decks, boat docks. Now they're talking about their issues, and their former issues. 2 years ago the wife called me to let me know how bad her depression had gotten, and that she wanted me to know I can talk with her hubby about it too.

The hubby and I have spent the last 2 years on tool therapy going through shit (not theirs alone, these friends of our family have stuck by us when we have needed them, and we've been happy to return the favor). It isn't that she can't talk to me but she talks with my hubby since in many ways my hubby and hers went through similar shit and it's easier for the men to talk to a person a bit removed. I and the rally driving hubby who rubs his thighs talk too.

This summer, I've painted their interior (100m2), built a deck, a dock (70m2) we've talked, laughed and cried together and alone. We are madly proud of them as a couple.

Everyone is really glad I had a place to go and do shit while the hubby has stopped basically my whole home reno project for 8 months now. I'm the worst housewife ever for sure, hands down. Weirdly the hubby still tolerates me.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta0311 View Post
How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?

Last edited by Lups; 09-21-2020 at 03:32 PM..
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:49 PM.




bmw
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST