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      12-08-2018, 07:28 AM   #1
Grumpy Old Man
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How Awesome is the English Language - give it your best shot!

I spent 30+ years working in Law Enforcement, and before that Commercial Diving, man did I love the experiences. I've also worked with the Military and through all of this exposure heard some outstanding massaging of the english language, phrases and slang.

Full disclosure, I got my inspiration for this thread from ussheleana725, and am attaching his inspirational post to get the ball rolling.

So, lets see what you've got. Could be an expression used in your work that's unique or a local or regional phrase. Lets share, I always love picking up a new word or phrase.....English is such a Kool language so help me expand my vocabulary. I'll share a few of mine to start. I got this fairly early in my policing career from a I worked with who'd started in Corrections. He'd refer to some of our clients as "stumblefuck or fuckstubmle" I liked the reversibility of the word.
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      12-08-2018, 07:46 AM   #2
MrSmartyPants
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My boss loves to use "The thing of it is...."

Have another coworker who is very fond of "cockbag" and "fucktard".
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      12-08-2018, 12:30 PM   #3
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You can get shit-faced,
Be shit out of luck,
or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together,
Find a place for your shit,
Or be asked to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit,
buy shit,
sell shit,
lose shit,
find shit,
forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit,
while others can't tell the difference
between Shit and Shineola.
There are lucky shits,
dumb shits,
crazy shits,
There is bull shit,
horse shit and
chicken shit.
You can throw shit,
sling shit,
catch shit,
shoot the shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in
shit.
Some days are colder than shit,
some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit,
not enough shit,
the right shit,
the wrong shit or
a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shits creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit
and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and
come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts,
it's the basic building block of the English language.
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      12-08-2018, 05:02 PM   #4
Darth One
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"Asshat" is one of the most underrated and under appreciated linguistic developments of the decade
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      12-08-2018, 05:46 PM   #5
Grumpy Old Man
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      12-08-2018, 06:18 PM   #6
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The English language is actually pretty poor when it comes down to juicy swears, particularly in comparison with Southern European languages. You can hear things in Greek that will leave your head spinning, wondering whether it's more offensive or gross.
It's typically directed to your mother.
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      12-08-2018, 06:20 PM   #7
Grumpy Old Man
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gunsmoker View Post
The English language is actually pretty poor when it comes down to juicy swears, particularly in comparison with Southern European languages. You can hear things in Greek that will leave your head spinning, wondering whether it's more offensive or gross.
It's typically directed to your mother.
It's like the French, except they swear about or around the church.

I'm thinking more that we share words that aren't necessarily profane but interesting.....ok profane.
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      12-08-2018, 06:26 PM   #8
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I like cuntosaurus rex.
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      12-08-2018, 06:29 PM   #9
Grumpy Old Man
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustinHEMI View Post
I like cuntosaurus rex.
That's what I'm talking about.
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      12-08-2018, 09:09 PM   #10
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Whenever my deceased lawyer buddy would get frustrated with something it was labelled a fuckstick.
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      12-08-2018, 09:26 PM   #11
GuidoK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gunsmoker View Post
The English language is actually pretty poor when it comes down to juicy swears, particularly in comparison with Southern European languages. You can hear things in Greek that will leave your head spinning, wondering whether it's more offensive or gross.
It's typically directed to your mother.
The dutch usually swear with diseases. (and of course all the genital or sexual orientation related mixups)

As far as creative with language and certainly control over what you say (or how you say it) I think the germans are masters of their language. They can say things very specificly and effectively without turning it into a direct verbal insult. Also for a long time the germans didnt use a lot of borrowings in their language, so that creates a unique set of words where you think a word is an inventive combination of other words, but then you realize its the actual word.
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      12-09-2018, 07:53 AM   #12
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      12-09-2018, 08:14 AM   #13
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It was either the Arabs or the Greeks who had this delightful insult that translates to “i will plant a tree in your dead mother’s cunt and fuck your sister in its shade”
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      12-09-2018, 08:52 AM   #14
Grumpy Old Man
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
It was either the Arabs or the Greeks who had this delightful insult that translates to “i will plant a tree in your dead mother’s cunt and fuck your sister in its shade”
Wow
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      12-09-2018, 10:10 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
It was either the Arabs or the Greeks who had this delightful insult that translates to "i will plant a tree in your dead mother's cunt and fuck your sister in its shade"
its Turkish, there aren't many things to be proud of if you're Turkish but our swears are A1
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      12-09-2018, 12:01 PM   #16
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Cuntmuffin
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      12-09-2018, 12:04 PM   #17
Grumpy Old Man
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whisker biscuit......I know it's an archery tool, but damn it clearly can have another meaning.
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      12-09-2018, 12:36 PM   #18
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im a fan of dickweed
super useful when describing someone, especially if this person does dickweedy stuff like keeping their door open when you're trying to park in the spot next to their car.
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      12-09-2018, 07:35 PM   #19
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Pole smoker, douchenozzle, cum dumpster, go back to dumbfuckastan, twatsicle
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      12-10-2018, 12:46 AM   #20
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F words and S words are great partners in English world. They should have been nominated Oscar awards for the solid contributions to the whole language development of all mankind by Hollywood movies. Enormous people who don't recognize a single English word may have heard of F and S words from time to time, and knows the exact meaning they are delivering.
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      12-10-2018, 10:45 AM   #21
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I can still picture my nino, buzzed, telling everyone in our Sister City convention in Mexico of the wonders that the work fuck can assume.

I struggle each morning with my muffin top. . .
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      12-10-2018, 10:47 AM   #22
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I love English but it is way too limited when it comes to foul language. Polish has like 3 or 4 different words just for "fuck" alone.
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