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      02-27-2019, 03:25 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Aeasley View Post
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I'm sorry mate, I was trying to be funny , and clearly missed a bit.

I'm often an insensitive idiot and here a lot so please keep that in mind while reading all the other stupid shit I spew.

Again, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings and I didn't mean to. I'm taking that post down.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      02-27-2019, 04:07 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Lups View Post
I'm sorry mate, I was trying to be funny , and clearly missed a bit.

I'm often an insensitive idiot and here a lot so please keep that in mind while reading all the other stupid shit I spew.

Again, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings and I didn't mean to. I'm taking that post down.
I'm thick skinned. This is the off topic room. No worries. I thought it was funny. Now I want you to tell your stories.
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      02-27-2019, 04:56 PM   #25
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Worst I've seen was as I was approaching an intersection, the cops had just begun to create a barricade of cop cars so that no one could see. Unfortunately I got a peek before it was closed off, but it ended up being a solo motorcycle accident with a lot of red on the ground.

Ended up being an older guy on a chopper that was scootin' at about 120 or so (as estimated by the later written news story) that grabbed a median sign with his face. Completely and cleanly decapitated him. I still remember the vision of the motorcycle with a headless body nearby and a helmet about 50 yards away with all the blood in between.



As for me, I snapped a couple vertebrae and have some plates and screws along with an implanted spinal cord stimulator.

Probably the grossest of the bunch (visually) was while playing football my left ankle dug into the ground whilst running at full tilt. Leg stayed put and the rest of the body went which ended up hyper-extending my knee. Snapped up some good stuff and nearly had my toes touch my hip in the process.

I've probably had 15+ surgeries... Getting too old for this nonsense.
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      02-27-2019, 05:35 PM   #26
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I work in rehab, so lots of gorey stories, but here's a favorite from my youth. Not really 'worst', but one to file under 'don't make the ambulance guys laugh 'til they get you in the bus'.

Thanksgiving day, and the neighbors are rushing about to get things ready for the arrival of the in-laws (as we all do). As hubby is just stepping out of the shower his wife gets him, frantic b/c the kitchen sink has clogged up and she can't finish dinner. Still in just a towel, he gets down on knees under the sink and starts to undo the trap. His cat comes over, and is entranced enough by his swinging sack to reach up and take a swipe. he screams, jerks up and bonks himself unconscious. Wife arrives to find him laid out half under the sink, calls EMS. He wakes up as they are belting him on the gurney, and tells them what happened as they are taking him out the front door. They are laughing so hard that they end up losing it and dumping the gurney down four steps, breaks an arm on top of everything.

Another humorous one from a Kansas biker who was working on his bike in the kitchen one winter (you're not a real biker if you don't have engine parts on the kitchen table). He made the mistake of flushing the remaining gas down the toilet when taking the tank off. Later he is sitting down taking a crap, and flicks his cigg into the bowl between his legs. Learns the hard way that gas floats, as he blows himself head-first into the wall across from the toilet, then nearly drowns in the ensuing flood. I gotta admit I did not have the stomach to inquire about the details of other injuries.
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      02-27-2019, 05:44 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ross61 View Post
I've seen a guy FOD out a jet engine, at night, on the flightdeck of an aircraft carrier.

He went head first. By the engine was shutdown, his head was gone.
When I was in boot they showed us a video of many ways to get fucked up aboard ship. This was one of the clips on the vid.


Trial by Fire I think the title was, about the Forrestsal fire during firefighting classes was something also. You likely saw that one also.
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      02-27-2019, 07:16 PM   #28
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Two stories come to mind from my days as a first responder.

First one. Another fire company was called on scene first for a single car motor vehicle wreck. We were later called out for mutual aid as there were multiple patients requiring advanced care. My station is the only one available with paramedics. We arrive on scene. The squad truck from my station was there cutting the A pillar of the car to peel back the roof to extricate the driver. The car was sitting in someone's front yard. The passenger was a few feet away from the car laying in the yard with the first medic unit from my station doing CPR on him. My unit was waiting on the driver.

What caused the wreck after all the details came out from the investigation, the occupants of the car was celebrating the birthday of the passenger. Both were intoxicated. The driver was operating the car severely impaired. Add to the mix the day before, we had snow. So from the melting during the day, there was some black ice on the road. The car was traveling at a high rate of speed when it went over the black ice, hit a snow bank, and was launched into the air. The car was about 8 feet in the air based on the marks on the tree the car hit while airborne. The passenger side struck the tree where by the passenger's head was thrown out the window opening for the door. His head impacted the tree trunk and was pulled back with significant force. The crew doing CPR on him said with each compression, his neck was swelling and deflating. This was caused from the carotid artery and jugular vein being ripped open. He also suffered other massive trauma as evidenced when we arrived to the trauma center with the driver. While we were transferring the driver to the hospital's bed in the trauma room, I looked over and saw bright red pouring out from the chest tube one of the ER staff had just stuck into the side of the passenger.

The whole scene was depressing as there were stuffed animals and birthday presents strewn all over the road.

Second story has to do with some sort of bad karma.

My unit was about to go off shift when we heard the request from dispatch about any available unit to respond to a motor vehicle wreck. My driver statused we were available and we took the call. Upon arrival to the scene there were two vehicles involved. The fire company had already closed off the road in both directions to create an LZ for the medevac to land. My unit was to attend to the noncritical patients. There was one critical patient. A 8 year old boy that was ejected from the vehicle from the impact. Apparently, the car with the 8 year old boy was making a left turn at an intersection, the striking vehicle was traveling at an extreme high rate of speed and T-boned them. The impact was so severe, the car with the 8 year old boy was thrown from the intersection and stopped about 15 or so feet from the intersection on the sidewalk/grassy area. I was loading the mother and the sister of the 8 year old boy into my rig. I was also about to load the driver of the other vehicle into the back with us as we were going to transport him to the hospital too. While doing this, I looked over and saw the medics doing chest compressions on the boy has they were moving him into the chopper. Not good. The mom was hysterical and I had to lie to her about the situation to calm her down for her daughter's sake. The battalion chief stopped me before I loaded the other driver into the cab. He told me to put him up front next to the driver. This wasn't SOP and I asked why. He said it's better for him to sit up front because he's a relative of the family he hit.

Just remembered some more I was on. This call we were initially dispatched for a DOA and then was notified the patient was still alive. Arrived on scene with lots of cops and two people in custody. Went into the apartment and before I walked into the apartment I can smell the strong smell of iron....ie lots of blood. The patient was screaming. He had already been packaged by the BLS unit that responded from my station before we had been dispatched. I can see a large blood splatter on the wall and bits of grey stuff all over which were parts of the patient's brain. The back story was the guy got into an argument with his roommates and then one of them decided to settle the argument with a sledge hammer to the back of the victim's head. What saved the guy's life was the fact his head was cracked open so he could bleed out. On top of the strong smell of blood, I had to deal with the strong smell of bowel movement as that is what happens when someone suffers from severe head trauma. The other call I just remembered was a pedestrian versus taxi cab incident. Guess who got the raw end of the deal? The pedestrian was royally messed up. I can see immediately he had a femur fracture as evidenced by the shorter length of the one leg and the bulging of his thigh. What I didn't know until I got his boot off and did a secondary assessment was he also had an open fracture near his ankle of his tib/fib. I can see right into his leg and see the broken bones. You never knew how white bone can be until you see something like this.

Another call, which I wasn't on but was on duty at the time at the station. Our ALS unit was dispatched for a two vehicle collision. Turned out to be a fatality on scene where they immediate pronounced the driver dead. What had happened was a person driving a minivan was proceeding into an intersection and had the right of way. A delivery truck blew the stop sign and crashed into the minivan on the driver side. The way the impact occurred, the force caused the minivan to smash into the side of the truck as if it was making a sandwich. At the same time, the air bags deployed. With the combination of the impact and the air bag deployment, the driver's head was pushed out the open side window and the driver's head was smashed between the two vehicles.
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      02-27-2019, 08:07 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ross61 View Post
I've seen a guy FOD out a jet engine, at night, on the flightdeck of an aircraft carrier.

He went head first. By the engine was shutdown, his head was gone.
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Originally Posted by DETRoadster View Post
Winner. Holy sh*t. All the stories I had to tell now somehow seem laughable in comparison. Boo hoo, I lit my shirt on fire while welding. At least I'm not that dude who lost his head in a jet engine. Damn.
One of those situations where you don't realize what you are seeing until after the fact.

In my case, I saw a bunch of guys in the aircraft's exhaust stream suddenly start wiping their goggles. In that yellowish light blood and oil look kind of similar - me and others thought the motor in question blew an internal oil line.

Then the flightdeck's white lights came on and all aircraft shutdown.

Time for an all-hands FOD walkdown - DO NOT pick anything up!!

Last edited by Ross61; 02-28-2019 at 05:12 PM..
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      02-27-2019, 08:15 PM   #30
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That one is terrible, but I do believe the "Don't catch these VD's" video was worse. Nothing beats 30 minutes of watching videos of mangled man-junk.
I remember it well and heeded the warning while in foreign ports. Precautions were taken without fail.
My ship at the time was headed for liberty in Mombasa Kenya. Less then 100 miles from land we were turned around back out to sea and that was that. AIDS was starting to take off on the continent.
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      02-27-2019, 08:43 PM   #31
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wow my accidents are NOT this graphic or contains injury (thankfully) but in order:
1- my first ever accident, about a month/1.5 months after i got my license (turkey's age is 18). the day of my graduation ceremony, i got a haircut. plan was to stop by the mall to pick up my suit from the dry cleaners and buy new shoes, head home to wash the car, shower and book it to the graduation. Got in a fender bender as I was pulling out of the mall, the woman insisted we called the cops (I also got shit because she didn't know "they gave licenses to people this young"), i told her i'd call her back and we'd pay for damages after the ceremony. I honestly forgot to call (went to get blasted with my friends), but she didn't call back either, I guess her husband convinced that a cracked license plate frame wasn't worth all the trouble...

2- it's time for iftaar, when muslim people break their fast in ramadan. i'm with the boys, 4 of us in the car and i'm driving. song comes up, we're all poppin having a good time and BAM the car in front stopped bc traffic but i didn't stop in time. we weren't late for the dinner, but we were also 5 mins on foot away from the restaurant. when we were filling out the paperwork the owner of the other car noticed my last name, turns out his hometown is where my dad's side of the family is from and we were technically relatives since a few daughters of our family married with theirs. VERY distant relatives for me though

3- first day of my first ever internship, after my freshman year at college. as I'm pulling out of the construction field, BAM t-boned an audi a1. no airbags, no injuries bar glass cuts on the guy's arm. I was scared shitless though, I'll upload pics later. to make matters worse, gramps and his wife were going to their son in law's place with the grandson, so when the fuckweed came by he started coming on to me saying i should've been more careful etc. i'm just glad my parents were there too otherwise i'm sure the crash wouldn't have been the only thing that happened...

4- valentine's day 2017. top of the world, i have a hot date, i'm doing well in school etc. the good life for a freshman in college pretty much. didn't have my MKS back then, so I borrowed a friend's 09 WRX. car caught on fire when we were returning from dinner. They shut down the highway, I practically lost my shit because car fire on a car that isn't even mine etc. Somehow ended up seeing that girl for a while too; i left my coat in the car because it wasn't that cold when the car was on fire. I got back to my dorm, and I'm STINKING of burnt plastic. Took me 4 wash cycles, a couple weeks of airing it out AND dry cleaning to be able to be used normally. To this day if you're extremely close to the jacket you'll be able to smell burnt plastic... That was the day I vowed to never ever get in a subie ever again, and since then the only japanese car I've been in is my Qashqai back home I can't trust them anymore.


I have been safe since, bar some parking tickets
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      02-27-2019, 11:36 PM   #32
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I once forgot to pull out...
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      02-28-2019, 09:17 AM   #33
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Forgot to post this yesterday...

I travel to mainland China frequently for work. I'm always amazed at how the scooter pilots pull off some seemingly amazing moves and never get hit. So one bright sunny morning we are en-route to our factory and we pull up to a light. I notice a big commotion on the other side of the street. There's a POS old dumptruck, loaded with rocks, pulled off to the side of the road. As I scan towards the crowd gathering behind it I notice the busted up scooter on the ground, then a see the rider. Appeared to be a young woman based on the clothes. The dumptruck had clearly hit her and run over her head in the process. It was completely crushed with blood and brains around it. Horrible.
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      02-28-2019, 09:42 AM   #34
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Life is on the track, everything else is just waiting

In my early days as a firefighter, responded to an auto accident. My truck pulled up to an intersection with a convertible that had impacted heavy into a flat bed tow truck with an edge as sharp as a knife. I stepped off the truck and noticed a headless body in the drivers seat, holding a cup in his hand. Looked up, and saw his head had rolled up next to the winch at the front of the bed. I have hundreds more after 33 years.
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      02-28-2019, 09:43 AM   #35
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DAMN!!!! Some crazy stories dropped in here. I honestly just don't have time to reply to the posts that I would like to but....wow!

A couple from me:

A friend of the family and his wife are having dinner in a swanky restaurant for their wedding anniversary. Unsure of what year anniversary it was but they were in their 50's and had been together since high school. The husband goes to the restroom after ordering drinks and appetizers. While in the mens room he said that the building shook like a bomb exploded and he could suddenly hear people screaming. There had been an accident at the intersection in front of the restaurant which culminated in the vehicle that had ran a red light and was struck by another vehicle entering the restaurant......and coming to rest on top of wife still sitting in her chair. She was killed instantly.

At 17 years old, my father was hit head on by a drunk driver. My father and his high school girlfriend were on his motorcycle when the other motorist tried to shorten out a curve by swerving on the other side of the road. The girl on the back of the motorcylce was catapulted over the car. My fathers entire right leg and hip were shattered. The first on the scene of the accident was another motorist on his way home, strangely enough this man came to be my guidance counselor in high school. He stated that when he arrived on the scene that my father was unconscious and his girlfriend was screaming her head off complaining about how badly her left foot hurt.....her foot was gone. When the ambulance arrived to get them, the intoxicated driver that struck them was trying to start his car so he could leave still unaware that he had even been in accident. The gentleman that was my guidance counselor stayed at the scene of the accident to look for the foot as the ambulance rushed both of them to the hospital. He found the foot 10' up in a tree, was able to climb the tree to get it and drove it to the hospital. They reattached her foot with success although to this day she still walks with a cane. Her and my father still had a great relationship after the accident but were no longer romantically involved. A few years later they ended up working at the same place and worked together for the next 30 years.

My youngest son at 4 years old and a few of his cousins were building a fort in the back yard of their great grandparent house. After they were finished with the construction of said fort they wanted to show off what they had completed. My son, being the gentleman that he is, was trying to help his great grandmother around a pile of broken bricks when she slipped, fell and due to holding hands with my son, she dragged him to the ground with her. His wrist made contact with the edge of broken brick and due to her weight dragging him down ripped his entire forearm open. I have a picture of it pre-stitches in the ER I'll post after I dig it up. He screamed for a minute and then when the poor little guy saw it, he instantly went into shock and was terrifyingly calm about the entire situation. He is 18 now and his scar from that is still unsettling to see.

I have a few more accidents involving myself that I'll post later.
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      02-28-2019, 10:07 AM   #36
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Drunk drivers......

Remember being on a call for one. Thankfully, she was the only person involved in the wreck. She was also being pretty belligerent with us. The medic was starting an IV and told me to get a large bore catheter. If you've never seen one, the thing looks like a harpoon. We only really use those when we're trying to push a lot of fluids into someone. And when we have unruly patients. It was hilarious when the medic shoved that thing into her arm. She immediately clammed up.
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      02-28-2019, 12:16 PM   #37
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Not sure on the injury, but I can still see this scene from around 1978:
I'm walking home from school along the street paralleling the main road. There is a relatively dense divider of trees/bushes. Hear a screech and crunch, then a tire comes bounding thru said trees. Mere seconds later, and man clamors thru said trees, says "Excuse me" and takes a leak in the bushes. He took a few steps after, then slumped to the ground.
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      02-28-2019, 12:23 PM   #38
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Slipped in the shower at a hotel recently. I think the maids polished the tub floor before I got there.... My arm is messed up pretty badly.
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      02-28-2019, 02:41 PM   #39
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I replaced a fan on a Chevy Monza that belonged to a friend of mine. Naturally, being a kid, I had to take it for a "test drive". My little brother wanted to drive, so off we went. We came upon a pig trotting right down the middle of some gravel road. The road had no ditch on the right, just an embankment. We were catching up to it pretty fast, we weren't speeding or anything but the pig was not in a hurry. We got right up on the pig and all of a sudden it noticed us, hung a left, and took off towards the side of the road. My brother jerked the wheel to the right and the car went up the embankment and effortlessly rolled onto its top. We came to a stop, hanging upside down, looking at each other. After the obligatory "you all right?" We busted out laughing. Nobody is going to believe this...
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      02-28-2019, 03:53 PM   #40
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Me: I was enjoying a glass of wine on an SEC football Saturday when the now ex-wife needed something from the attic. I saunter up in my pair of boat shoes WITH the glass of wine, find the item and as I turn to eave, promptly slip and fall between the rafters and through the ceiling with one leg hanging all the way through. As I try to pull myself up, I notice that 3 of my fingers on my left hand are twisted backwards and to the far left. (It's really disconcerting to see your body distended in any manner, as an aside.) I cast about and locate a small piece of 2x4 with my right hand, place my left hand on the rafter, and pop all my joints back into place and in the proper direction. I went back downstairs with the item my wife needed as she's completely hysterical about the ceiling, hand it to her, and got another glass of wine.

A stranger: We were working at the office in the early 90's when we hear some kids riding dirt bikes and mopeds un the parking garage. This was a common occurrence and we sent the FNG out to shoo them away. About 2 minutes after he leaves he comes running upstairs yelling there's been an accident. We all run down and see one of the dirt bikes in flames and another huge conflagration nearby. The second flame moved and it was the rider completely engulfed in flames. I ran over while taking off my shirt, tackled him and rolled him around until he was out. Someone else called paramedics while that was going on and we later learned that he had 3rd degree burns over 85% of his body and lost most of his fingers. He's still alive today and working at a nearby McDonalds.

A buddy in Europe: We were 17 and in Spain hanging out after an official school trip. One of the guys was from Chicago and had been badly burned as a child and hence, gave zero Fks about anything involving danger. As we are riding motorcycles through the Pyrenees mountain range he decides to attempt to take this downhill, medium radius 75 degree turn at full chat. He was looking great as he leaned in but before he hit the apex, the rear started bouncing, lost traction, and slid out from under him. Did I mention the cliff? There was a cliff with a 1000 foot drop off. He goes full spread eagle to maximize friction, the bike goes over, and he stops about 10 feet short. We looked over at the destroyed bike, shrug and then buddy ride back to the hotel.

More later...
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      02-28-2019, 04:03 PM   #41
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Back when the e28 came out (bmw gurus will know the year) in the US market I was around four (4) in the backseat sitting behind my mother in the front passenger seat and her friend Martha (yup I remember her name) driving. I think it was a station wagon of some sort. Regardless, she was accelerating from a stop and another driver ran a stop sign and hit the passenger side. All I remember was blood all over my mothers face which caused me to scream to the high heavens. Apparently I passed out and I remember waking up in the hospital next to my mother and she was stable. Stayed in the hospital for a few days but all was good.

The station wagon, however, was totaled. Martha was fine.
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Also our E90 330 and 325 will soon have some sort of boost. So there is actually more of a chance to get more hp out of a 330 then a 335 in my opinion
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King Rudi13152.00
      02-28-2019, 04:07 PM   #42
kscarrol
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Me: I was enjoying a glass of wine on an SEC football Saturday when the now ex-wife needed something from the attic. I saunter up in my pair of boat shoes WITH the glass of wine, find the item and as I turn to eave, promptly slip and fall between the rafters and through the ceiling with one leg hanging all the way through. As I try to pull myself up, I notice that 3 of my fingers on my left hand are twisted backwards and to the far left. (It's really disconcerting to see your body distended in any manner, as an aside.) I cast about and locate a small piece of 2x4 with my right hand, place my left hand on the rafter, and pop all my joints back into place and in the proper direction. I went back downstairs with the item my wife needed as she's completely hysterical about the ceiling, hand it to her, and got another glass of wine.
What?? Man card revoked! It's either beer or brown water...
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MKSixer34171.50
      02-28-2019, 04:27 PM   #43
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I hope you sued that driver that swerved into you.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeasley View Post
I have two.

First, November 3rd 2015 I was on my Harley driving to work on the 91w when I got to Corona. Traffic was at an obvious standstill at 6:30am. I was following a group of other bikes splitting lanes when we got to a car riding the line blocking us from passing anyone else. Eventually a car in lane 2 moved over enough for the group to pass. As I passed the blocking car person, she swerved into me and hit me, throwing me under a big truck which then ran over my head, back and arm. I was rushed to the hospital after laying alone on the freeway for 7 minutes. No one approached because the witnesses had seen my head ran over and all thought I was dead. Thankfully my helmet worked.
https://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2015...on-91-freeway/







After that accident my family and then girlfriend banned me from getting another bike so I bought a 535i. I went fishing in Huntington harbor late on the night of March 21st 2016. We left at about midnight. When the light turned green to turn left onto pch, I started going and was hit in my driver side door by a drunk driver going 80mph. That crippled me for over a year and 6 surgeries later i'm still dealing with the injuries from that.
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      02-28-2019, 05:02 PM   #44
Ross61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by N54Yankee View Post
When I was in boot they showed us a video of many ways to get fucked up aboard ship. This was one of the clips on the vid.


Trial by Fire I think the title was, about the Forrestsal fire during firefighting classes was something also. You likely saw that one also.
Actually that guy survived - physically. Lost some hearing too.
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