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      10-28-2014, 10:47 AM   #1057
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[QUOTE=grimlock;16845636]This is not a unique problem - there are givers and there are takers, the way we are programmed by our upbringing from birth.
If you're tired and see the futility in the struggle, it's probably a good sign that what you are doing (giving too much) is never going to get you what you want. Realize it's just a script from the particular circumstances of your own individual story - however the world out there and the way anybody else does things is totally different.
Einstein said doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.
Take a step back from what you are doing, see that you are in fact doing a particular thing, and it seems to produce the same results over and over again. Do you need any further evidence to stop doing it the same and try something else? The 'cheat' in this riddle, which exists in some form or fashion for everyone, is that your parents are insane (well, everybody, in some form or manner is lol). Their conception of reality is FLAWED but it is the only one children are brought up experience - we don't know any better. We literally cannot see how things could be any other way because we have become brainwashed through repetition.

Best of luck, bro

I agree with a lot of what you say here. It is truly amazing how a single situation or event can be interpreted in countless ways, depending on the individual's perception of the situation or event. Perception is reality, even if the perception is influenced negatively by past experiences or political/religeous/cultural upbringing.

Ultimately, it would probably be best if I were to ease off of doing what everyone else expects or asks of me, instead of doing what I feel should be done. Easier said than done, because 90% of me is designed to make the personal sacrifice, in order to ensure the happines and prosperity.

I will figure it out.
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      10-28-2014, 11:00 AM   #1058
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Originally Posted by Billup View Post
Nothing in life is worth giving up on yourself. I lived in a box for 4 months. Talk about being in some shit. However, as shitty as it was, here I am today, because I didn't give up.

There are too many things in the world to experience, and you only get one chance to experience it all, so why give up something as precious as that? You know, I've had 3 friends off themselves back in HS, and you know what, as much as I loved them as friends, it's selfish. You're here, on earth, with millions of opportunities in the palm of your hand. Embrace it and find happiness in yourself. When you can walk around with your head held high, people notice, and it can have some huge affects on how you view life.


You do only live a single time. On earth at least.
Hey Billup, we have had a couple converstations on this forum, and I have come to respect your outlook on may topics covered in, well, OT. I know you are one of the "Cool Kids" on this forum, and you have probably been one of the cool kids all your life. Your confidence is admirable, and I am, and always have been a bit envyous of guys like you. I don't fall into that category, lol.

I used to do some of those exciting things you mentioned above, and have experienced much in all the years I have been walking the earth. Not sure if it's age, or my current employment postion that just sapped my energy over the past two years or so. I will have to start getting back out there again and see if that gets my energy cycling again.

Thank you all once again for the encouragement and support. My gratitude towards you all knows no bounds.
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      10-28-2014, 11:15 AM   #1059
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Hey Billup, we have had a couple converstations on this forum, and I have come to respect your outlook on may topics covered in, well, OT. I know you are one of the "Cool Kids" on this forum, and you have probably been one of the cool kids all your life. Your confidence is admirable, and I am, and always have been a bit envyous of guys like you. I don't fall into that category, lol.

I used to do some of those exciting things you mentioned above, and have experienced much in all the years I have been walking the earth. Not sure if it's age, or my current employment postion that just sapped my energy over the past two years or so. I will have to start getting back out there again and see if that gets my energy cycling again.

Thank you all once again for the encouragement and support. My gratitude towards you all knows no bounds.
I wouldn't say I've been the "cool kid" my whole life, but I have always made a point of making friends with everyone I come in contact with. I hung out with the "losers", goth kids, preppy kids, black kids, it really didn't matter. It's really just learning to be OK with yourself, and understanding your own value on earth.

I had a 2 year "depression" spree around senior year of HS, where I was doing a ton of things I shouldn't have, and in turn, it had some pretty bad affects on how I viewed life and myself. So with that said, while I can't compare on the exact situation you are in, the emotions are essentially the same. To this day, I still work on myself and tell myself that I am OK with the flaws I do have, but I don't let that burden life as a whole. Remind yourself that there are people who have it so incredibly poorly off that what we get to embrace in life is one of the best gifts you could ever receive, and nothing should put a damper on that.

Experiencing new things and new places can open your eyes to what life is all about. I was talking to this chick about skydiving, and she said, Oh I'd never do that, that's scary, what if the shute doesn't deploy? For me, I don't think about things like that, I think about the thrill and the amount of joy I would feel when my feet touch the ground, because I did something that naturally would make me shit my pants.

All I'm saying is, you ultimately have the power to be happy with who you are as a person today. New things come in life no matter how young or how old you are, and that's what makes life exciting. My friends that essentially gave up when they were 18, 20, and 21...., have no way to turn back the clock and do things that really remind you what life is all about. Not to mention the pain it causes on all the people around you, and the fact that you have people that care about you that much should be enough to put a smile on your face.

Embrace life man. I am far from being a stud or the cool kid, I am just me, and people either like it or they don't. I love it, and that's all that matters, as it should for you and anyone else.
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      10-28-2014, 04:01 PM   #1060
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I wouldn't say I've been the "cool kid" my whole life, but I have always made a point of making friends with everyone I come in contact with. I hung out with the "losers", goth kids, preppy kids, black kids, it really didn't matter. It's really just learning to be OK with yourself, and understanding your own value on earth.

I had a 2 year "depression" spree around senior year of HS, where I was doing a ton of things I shouldn't have, and in turn, it had some pretty bad affects on how I viewed life and myself. So with that said, while I can't compare on the exact situation you are in, the emotions are essentially the same. To this day, I still work on myself and tell myself that I am OK with the flaws I do have, but I don't let that burden life as a whole. Remind yourself that there are people who have it so incredibly poorly off that what we get to embrace in life is one of the best gifts you could ever receive, and nothing should put a damper on that.

Experiencing new things and new places can open your eyes to what life is all about. I was talking to this chick about skydiving, and she said, Oh I'd never do that, that's scary, what if the shute doesn't deploy? For me, I don't think about things like that, I think about the thrill and the amount of joy I would feel when my feet touch the ground, because I did something that naturally would make me shit my pants.

All I'm saying is, you ultimately have the power to be happy with who you are as a person today. New things come in life no matter how young or how old you are, and that's what makes life exciting. My friends that essentially gave up when they were 18, 20, and 21...., have no way to turn back the clock and do things that really remind you what life is all about. Not to mention the pain it causes on all the people around you, and the fact that you have people that care about you that much should be enough to put a smile on your face.

Embrace life man. I am far from being a stud or the cool kid, I am just me, and people either like it or they don't. I love it, and that's all that matters, as it should for you and anyone else.
Very well said. Honestly, I have a very similar attitude for the most part. I can basically be chill with pretty much anyone because political/religeous/cultural boundaries are non exisitent to me. I respect any individuals' right to think freely and be themselves, as long as they are not being blatantly disrespectful to any given persons' right to think and feel free themselves. Also, I am aware that "things ain't that bad" because during many of my work related travels, I have witnessed and or dealt with hardships far worse than my current environment.

Like you, I am comfortable with who I am, even if who I am doesn't fit into any standard social category. I can't say the same for when I was younger though, lol. Since this past Sunday, you all have made me step back to identify what my core problem is, and I truly belive it's my current assignment. Before, even if I didn't fit in, I still had the drive and energy to make any situation worth whie or at least tolerable. Now I just don't want to be bothered. I gotta start finding the bright side to things again. I have one year to go, then I can either get reassigned to hopefully a better organized unit, or change career paths entirely. These last two years really drained my energy being in this work environment. The light at the end of the tunnel can be found in Dec 2015. Until then, I will hang around here and chime in whenever I think my 2 cents MAY be worth mor than... 2 cents, lol
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      10-28-2014, 09:36 PM   #1061
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you know what I really hate? Running out before I'm ready to sleep...

Also, the night sweats I will have tomorrow.. probably.

Anyone else ever get a sudden freefall feeling while you're trying to get to sleep? (sober usually) - FOUND IT - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnic_jerk

Freaks me out everytime.

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      10-28-2014, 09:38 PM   #1062
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Sooo, 5 pints and 8 shots later, here I am. Thank you, Pint Night. @Billup and @Lups check in.
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      10-28-2014, 10:53 PM   #1063
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Sooo, 5 pints and 8 shots later, here I am. Thank you, Pint Night. @Billup and @Lups check in.
IN!

To the conversation above, if Samurai you need someone to talk to, and a complete stranger is the best option, I am here. I know something about big changes in life, and your story reminded me in ways of mine though I avoided the real lows.

hidingbehindanick@hotmail.com works, my inbox is always full.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      10-28-2014, 11:54 PM   #1064
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I've had the free fall feeling before, it's awesome.
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      10-29-2014, 06:26 AM   #1065
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I've had the free fall feeling before, it's awesome.
I want this feeling, only I want to be pushed out of an airplane with a parachute backpack.
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      10-29-2014, 07:15 PM   #1066
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I've had the free fall feeling before, it's awesome.
Thanks Tom Petty (or Stevie Nicks depending on which version you like)
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      10-29-2014, 07:34 PM   #1067
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I'll go with Tom Petty. Don't know who Stevie Nicks is.
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      10-29-2014, 07:59 PM   #1068
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I'll go with Tom Petty. Don't know who Stevie Nicks is.
haha Petty it is. I think you'd recognize Stevie Nicks' songs if you heard them...she has a pretty distinct voice and had more than a few hits over her many years.
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      10-29-2014, 08:00 PM   #1069
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Now I have Free Fallin' stuck in my head, damn it!!!

And now so will OT, hahaha!!

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      10-29-2014, 08:03 PM   #1070
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I wonder what having a giraffe as a pet would be like. I mean, do you walk it?
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      10-29-2014, 08:05 PM   #1071
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When you take your pet giraffe home be sure not to go under low overpass bridges. Can be a real bitch to clean up that mess.

Hey, a Hangover reference in the drunk thread.
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      10-29-2014, 08:05 PM   #1072
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I wonder what having a giraffe as a pet would be like. I mean, do you walk it?
haha that'd be interesting like when you're eating....

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      10-29-2014, 08:09 PM   #1073
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That's pretty cool. I'm sure you need some kind of giraffe permit. Talk about a chick magnet. Wanna pet my giraffe?
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      10-29-2014, 08:10 PM   #1074
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Just a disclaimer: by posting in this thread, ddk632, from hereon in "the poster," is neither admitting to, implying, alluding to, confirming, nor denying any possible relation to any particular state of sobriety or lack thereof of the poster, and does neither condone nor not condone the partaking and consumption of alcoholic beverages, including but not limited to those beverages which may or may not be mixed with orange juice (either fresh squeezed or from concentrate).
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      10-29-2014, 08:10 PM   #1075
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That's pretty cool. I'm sure you need some kind of giraffe permit. Talk about a chick magnet. Wanna pet my giraffe?
= next level "cute puppy" game
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      10-29-2014, 08:30 PM   #1076
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has anyone seen a baby giraffe?

FUCK MY LIFE. CUTEST THING EVAR.

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      10-29-2014, 08:32 PM   #1077
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Shit now I really want one. Wonder if they eat bacon
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      10-29-2014, 08:43 PM   #1078
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