[Xtabi]

I have so many!

I played soccer in college and at one point we had to put the nets on the new goals we had got for the season.

Fairly often the volleyball team would come watch us before their practice. And we would very happily return the favor to watch them. I reaaally was into one girl on team but had not yet met her. She was there that same day.

I needed help putting the net up and was not about to ask one of my teammates to get on my shoulders to help me when there were so many (***SMOKING HOT***) Vball chicks just yards away not to mention the one I really liked. Then my master plan hit! I would ask her if she could help me out.

So I walk over and one of my friends from the vball team introduces me to her. We chat it up for a bit. I ask if she can help and she is all for it. YEA! My plan is working!

So we walk over to the goal. I say out loud I wonder how we can get the net up. Then she says it for me! "I can get on your shoulders." Ohh yea!

So she hops on my shoulders and is up there for like 2 seconds before it happens...

I feel it start and there was nothing I could do to stop it...

I get this RAGING boner!!!! F'ING HELL!!!

So there in am with this hot chick, in her vball shorts, smooth legs, and wonderful lotion smell on my shoulders. And I have a strait up (no pun intended) hard on.

My friends are all staring at me, her and my now pointing shorts. Some are laughing their asses off some are covering the mouths.

I'm trying to think of wtf to do. Do I...

-Continue on and hope it goes away
-Figure out a way to disengage

I decided to try to think about cold showers and anything to take my mind off of the hotness (yes both on my shoulders and in my pants). That was having absolutely no affect so I said F it and finished half of the goal and she jumped down. Of course before she got down I thought how the hell am I going to hide this thing. It's not like it would disappear anytime and I'm in the middle of a FREAKING SOCCER FIELD.

So she gets down and the only thing I could think of to do was talk to her. I thought that would at least keep her eyes on me and not my summer sausage.

So practice starts and I catch no end to all of it. It was funny as hell but man I felt like a complete moron!

The good news was about a week later I hooked up with her. She never mentioned the whole thing so I have no clue if she knew what was leaking just below her feet that day or not.



Edit: OMG I MEANT "LURKING" NOT LEAKING!!!!

S@*T I suppose that comment can be my other embarrassing story.

[smoosh]

Originally Posted by Xtabi

I have so many!

I played soccer in college and at one point we had to put the nets on the new goals we had got for the season.

Fairly often the volleyball team would come watch us before their practice. And we would very happily return the favor to watch them. I reaaally was into one girl on team but had not yet met her. She was there that same day.

I needed help putting the net up and was not about to ask one of my teammates to get on my shoulders to help me when there were so many (***SMOKING HOT***) Vball chicks just yards away not to mention the one I really liked. Then my master plan hit! I would ask her if she could help me out.

So I walk over and one of my friends from the vball team introduces me to her. We chat it up for a bit. I ask if she can help and she is all for it. YEA! My plan is working!

So we walk over to the goal. I say out loud I wonder how we can get the net up. Then she says it for me! "I can get on your shoulders." Ohh yea!

So she hops on my shoulders and is up there for like 2 seconds before it happens...

I feel it start and there was nothing I could do to stop it...

I get this RAGING boner!!!! F'ING HELL!!!

So there in am with this hot chick, in her vball shorts, smooth legs, and wonderful lotion smell on my shoulders. And I have a strait up (no pun intended) hard on.

My friends are all staring at me, her and my now pointing shorts. Some are laughing their asses off some are covering the mouths.

I'm trying to think of wtf to do. Do I...

-Continue on and hope it goes away
-Figure out a way to disengage

I decided to try to think about cold showers and anything to take my mind off of the hotness (yes both on my shoulders and in my pants). That was having absolutely no affect so I said F it and finished half of the goal and she jumped down. Of course before she got down I thought how the hell am I going to hide this thing. It's not like it would disappear anytime and I'm in the middle of a FREAKING SOCCER FIELD.

So she gets down and the only thing I could think of to do was talk to her. I thought that would at least keep her eyes on me and not my summer sausage.

So practice starts and I catch no end to all of it. It was funny as hell but man I felt like a complete moron!

The good news was about a week later I hooked up with her. She never mentioned the whole thing so I have no clue if she knew what was leaking just below her feet that day or not.



Edit: OMG I MEANT "LURKING" NOT LEAKING!!!!

S@*T I suppose that comment can be my other embarrassing story.

Maaaaan y'all keep writing these stories and posts like "I did this and she walked away"...then one sentence later, "I boned her a week after that."

Yeah, that follows. Where's the middle? What happened in the middle part??

[Xtabi]

Originally Posted by smoosh

Maaaaan y'all keep writing these stories and posts like "I did this and she walked away"...then one sentence later, "I boned her a week after that."

Yeah, that follows. Where's the middle? What happened in the middle part??

Not a lot on the middle part of this one. We a went out one night as a big group a few days later. The day after that she called me to come over to her place to watch a movie. Now-a-days aka Netflix and chill.

[BimmerRookie]

Originally Posted by EALm4

Have you guys read about the GS Private Plane incident? lol if not here's a copy and paste. Bit long but god damn hilariously written and 100% vetted true by multiple sources.



http://www.celebritynetworth.com/art...t-of-all-time/

This definitely the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Had to get up from my desk at work and go laugh outside...

[whyzee125]

Originally Posted by kprocivic

Okay fine. I was at state prelim track meet and i shit myself literally during my race. One of the only races i lost. I had to dump my underwear and go commando after. No one knew until we got back to school. My friends called me shitty shitty bang bang after that.

[whyzee125]

Originally Posted by EALm4

Have you guys read about the GS Private Plane incident? lol if not here's a copy and paste. Bit long but god damn hilariously written and 100% vetted true by multiple sources.



http://www.celebritynetworth.com/art...t-of-all-time/

That might be one of the funniest things I've ever read haha

[Dang3r]

Im done with the www for today

[DF]

Not me. But I was part of it. My best friend calls me one day and says "hey. My back has gone out and I can't move. I need you to come and help me get off the floor". He's a young guy but has had a back issue for s while. His wife and kid were out of the country visiting her family.

I go over and look and don't see him. I yell his name and he says he's in the bath room. I go in and he's in the floor, face down, pants around his ankles. First thing he says is "Don't laugh!" Which of course I do. He threw his back out taking a shit. i had to get his pants and sneakers off. Assist in wiping his ass. Maneuver him to the couch and put s pair of shorts on him

Obviously he swore me to secrecy. He said it was either calling me or the paramedics. He felt I was a better option. Of course I bring this up from time to time because I can

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by DF

Not me. But I was part of it. My best friend calls me one day and says "hey. My back has gone out and I can't move. I need you to come and help me get off the floor". He's a young guy but has had a back issue for s while. His wife and kid were out of the country visiting her family.

I go over and look and don't see him. I yell his name and he says he's in the bath room. I go in and he's in the floor, face down, pants around his ankles. First thing he says is "Don't laugh!" Which of course I do. He threw his back out taking a shit. i had to get his pants and sneakers off. Assist in wiping his ass. Maneuver him to the couch and put s pair of shorts on him

Obviously he swore me to secrecy. He said it was either calling me or the paramedics. He felt I was a better option. Of course I bring this up from time to time because I can

You are a very good friend

[DF]

Originally Posted by bimmette

You are a very good friend

It was worth having this to bring up for years to come

[Xtabi]

Originally Posted by DF

Not me. But I was part of it. My best friend calls me one day and says "hey. My back has gone out and I can't move. I need you to come and help me get off the floor". He's a young guy but has had a back issue for s while. His wife and kid were out of the country visiting her family.

I go over and look and don't see him. I yell his name and he says he's in the bath room. I go in and he's in the floor, face down, pants around his ankles. First thing he says is "Don't laugh!" Which of course I do. He threw his back out taking a shit. i had to get his pants and sneakers off. Assist in wiping his ass. Maneuver him to the couch and put s pair of shorts on him

Obviously he swore me to secrecy. He said it was either calling me or the paramedics. He felt I was a better option. Of course I bring this up from time to time because I can

Woah! Now that is a friend.

I've heard the difference between a friend and a good friend is that:

A friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a body.

Looks like I can add a good friend will also wipe your behind in the time of dire need!

[RunFlatOut]

Some years ago my sister had a boyfriend whose name was Camille, and they were looking kinda serious, in that she'd brought him home, meet the folks, they let him sleep over in the house. Then the worst happens and he is killed in a car crash. Everybody is devastated, he was a genuine good guy. My sister cries her soul to sleep every night, gloom descends on the household. Then a few days pass and I'm up in the attic alone with a rented games console, back when you could rent a Sega or similar and a few games for a week. So I'm working my way through a hard level and I'm focussed, I want to do this, I've almost figured out the sequence, If I don't do this in the next three attempts I am worthless. Can and will, no stopping me, no distracting me. At that point a guy about my age walks in, says hi. I say hi but I'm not letting go of that controller. He tells me his name, I tell him mine, and I'm so close to nailing that level. I can sense the bonus points putting on their work jackets. He tells me he is Camille's younger brother. My brain reluctantly opens a 20 % window to scan for all known Camilles and finds none. So I say sorry, don't know that particular person. And It was true, I didn't know any woman called Camille. Because Camille is a woman's name. Or and man's name too, it's one of those names that can be used for both. So sorry but no, I don't know any Camille. Back to gaming, so close now. The guy says "You must know Camille right?" And so I quick double check, still in control of the level, still no girl called Camille in the database. "Sorry I don't..." and back to gaming. At that point my fifteen year old brain emits a faint signal, something is odd. I turn around to look into the most heartbreaking display of a mortified face. And I know something's wrong but nothing clicks.

He was the younger brother of Camille, my sister's boyfriend who had recently passed away in a car crash, and he had come all the way up to let me know their whole family had come to visit us that we may share our grief together.

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by RunFlatOut

Some years ago my sister had a boyfriend whose name was Camille, and they were looking kinda serious, in that she'd brought him home, meet the folks, they let him sleep over in the house. Then the worst happens and he is killed in a car crash. Everybody is devastated, he was a genuine good guy. My sister cries her soul to sleep every night, gloom descends on the household. Then a few days pass and I'm up in the attic alone with a rented games console, back when you could rent a Sega or similar and a few games for a week. So I'm working my way through a hard level and I'm focussed, I want to do this, I've almost figured out the sequence, If I don't do this in the next three attempts I am worthless. Can and will, no stopping me, no distracting me. At that point a guy about my age walks in, says hi. I say hi but I'm not letting go of that controller. He tells me his name, I tell him mine, and I'm so close to nailing that level. I can sense the bonus points putting on their work jackets. He tells me he is Camille's younger brother. My brain reluctantly opens a 20 % window to scan for all known Camilles and finds none. So I say sorry, don't know that particular person. And It was true, I didn't know any woman called Camille. Because Camille is a woman's name. Or and man's name too, it's one of those names that can be used for both. So sorry but no, I don't know any Camille. Back to gaming, so close now. The guy says "You must know Camille right?" And so I quick double check, still in control of the level, still no girl called Camille in the database. "Sorry I don't..." and back to gaming. At that point my fifteen year old brain emits a faint signal, something is odd. I turn around to look into the most heartbreaking display of a mortified face. And I know something's wrong but nothing clicks.

He was the younger brother of Camille, my sister's boyfriend who had recently passed away in a car crash, and he had come all the way up to let me know their whole family had come to visit us that we may share our grief together.

OMG. That's so sad and terrible but I would probably do the same. It's definitely a girly name.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by RunFlatOut

Some years ago my sister had a boyfriend whose name was Camille, and they were looking kinda serious, in that she'd brought him home, meet the folks, they let him sleep over in the house. Then the worst happens and he is killed in a car crash. Everybody is devastated, he was a genuine good guy. My sister cries her soul to sleep every night, gloom descends on the household. Then a few days pass and I'm up in the attic alone with a rented games console, back when you could rent a Sega or similar and a few games for a week. So I'm working my way through a hard level and I'm focussed, I want to do this, I've almost figured out the sequence, If I don't do this in the next three attempts I am worthless. Can and will, no stopping me, no distracting me. At that point a guy about my age walks in, says hi. I say hi but I'm not letting go of that controller. He tells me his name, I tell him mine, and I'm so close to nailing that level. I can sense the bonus points putting on their work jackets. He tells me he is Camille's younger brother. My brain reluctantly opens a 20 % window to scan for all known Camilles and finds none. So I say sorry, don't know that particular person. And It was true, I didn't know any woman called Camille. Because Camille is a woman's name. Or and man's name too, it's one of those names that can be used for both. So sorry but no, I don't know any Camille. Back to gaming, so close now. The guy says "You must know Camille right?" And so I quick double check, still in control of the level, still no girl called Camille in the database. "Sorry I don't..." and back to gaming. At that point my fifteen year old brain emits a faint signal, something is odd. I turn around to look into the most heartbreaking display of a mortified face. And I know something's wrong but nothing clicks.

He was the younger brother of Camille, my sister's boyfriend who had recently passed away in a car crash, and he had come all the way up to let me know their whole family had come to visit us that we may share our grief together.

I assume you stayed in the attic until they left, correct?

[RunFlatOut]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

I assume you stayed in the attic until they left, correct?

I didn't actually. The penny dropped seconds after the poor guy had left the room. To this day I can remember that flood of pure shame and embarrassment washing all over me. I turned the console off, checked my clothes were presentable, and slowly made my way down the stairs. I don't remember all the details after that, but I know I went up to the brother and tried to explain. Just a blur of memories now, shapes and half faces. Nothing my memory particularly wanted to hang on to I guess, except that feeling, that one stays in the cells forever.

[pz619]

This one has always stuck with me. This happened to me a few years ago. It's also the reason why I always keep my laundry separate from hers.

I went to the gym one afternoon and got on the elliptical. Started my routine and noticed something was in my pocket. I assumed it was a gym towel or something but instead pulled out women's underwear. I guess it got stuck in the pocket in the wash. I was in the front row so pretty much everyone behind me saw me pull underwear out of my pocket, look around sheepishly to see if anyone saw it (they all did) then put it back in my pocket. It was like I was the creepy guy carrying around some sort of keep sake after watching people sleep. I don't go to that gym anymore and I never take any machine in front row anymore.

[eluded]

I once drove a Ford Mustang

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by eluded

I once drove a Ford Mustang

Were you around any people?
If so, did they survive?

[Xtabi]

I just heard this story the other day....

A guy had been wanting to buy a vette for a long time. His dream car.

Finally he got it. He drove to a bar and was having a great time there with his friends. Later that night he went to leave. Could not find his car. Stolen!

He calls the cops to report it. As he is waiting for the cops he finds his car... Gets in to drive home. He is halfway home when the cops pull him over. The reason...plates matched the report for a stolen car! He did not call the police back to tell them he found the car...

[Xtabi]

Originally Posted by pz619

This one has always stuck with me. This happened to me a few years ago. It's also the reason why I always keep my laundry separate from hers.

I went to the gym one afternoon and got on the elliptical. Started my routine and noticed something was in my pocket. I assumed it was a gym towel or something but instead pulled out women's underwear. I guess it got stuck in the pocket in the wash. I was in the front row so pretty much everyone behind me saw me pull underwear out of my pocket, look around sheepishly to see if anyone saw it (they all did) then put it back in my pocket. It was like I was the creepy guy carrying around some sort of keep sake after watching people sleep. I don't go to that gym anymore and I never take any machine in front row anymore.

Yea surrrre... I bet you whipped them out like this!!! :

[PoorLurker]

I once went on the internet and signed up for a forum to talk about cars that I cannot afford with people who can afford them.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by pz619

This one has always stuck with me. This happened to me a few years ago.

I went to the gym one afternoon and got on the elliptical.

Man, how much is your psychotherapy bill?????