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      09-10-2018, 08:40 AM   #1
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If You're Having a Bad Day...

I keep insisting I'll blog this project of mine, but obviously I'm not going to so I thought I could make a thread about how not to renovate a house.

If anyone has missed, I'm a fucking idiot. If there is a way to make life harder for myself, I'll do it.

I've been shopping for a house for a year now again, nothing felt right. I made a bid in one and it got accepted but I just couldn't find the motivation for it. It was too new, it had straight corners, it had a roof that wasn't leaking. Obviously it wasn't for me, I truly tried but I just couldn't buy it.

A few months ago my aunt told me she wants to sell my great aunts home. It has busted windows, no heating, the house has to be basically redone from top to bottom and my husband hates it, my kids try to grow up faster so they can have me sent to a mental institution, my dog refuses to go near the place...

Anyway, I got some bids from excavator contractors and after reviewing them I decided those fuckers are highway robbers and now I'm stuck digging by hand 8 ft under ground by hand for about 250ft. While doing that, I managed to get a tree crash my pit while I was winching a rock out of my ditch, I may have fucked up everything else imaginable too and I have decided we won't be discussing that particular part of this project ever.

I wouldn't bring digging up at all but this weekend our lovely and eager family was doing the new sewer line. I had so much fun making this 2 meters long ditch for the new line with a few broken ribs and mild bruises to my ego I lost my tape measurer.

I was a bit pissed with myself, so I decided to drop a kid in the ditch and take a photo so I could get a measurement when I'd find the stupid tool.

You know it's bad when you need to know how far you still have to go, and you pick a kid for the job that'll be just tall enough to make you feel better about your progress.

Anyway...



Happy Monday everybody! I'll be reporting all my fuck ups here so each of you can feel better about your own life!
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      09-10-2018, 08:43 AM   #2
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Thanks. Needed this. Been a shitty Monday already....
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      09-10-2018, 08:46 AM   #3
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Thanks. Needed this. Been a shitty Monday already....
Here to save your days. Hell, I saved my own miserable day when I looked at that photo.

Such a high level of stupid and blind achieved here...
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      09-10-2018, 08:57 AM   #4
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I gave up on house shopping. I'll just wait for this bubble to pop. I'm not overpaying.
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      09-10-2018, 09:28 AM   #5
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Not as bad as you but

After looking for 2+ years, and having to compromise on one of my must haves (basement), we finally made an offer that was accepted this time last year. We closed the end of January. Initially, there were only 3 things we were going to do. 27 things later, we moved in the beginning of May. We ripped down walls, ripped out the staircase, re-did the kitchen, gutted two bathrooms and on and on. If I ever move again, I want to turn the key and move in. I'll paint, that's it. I'm not emotionally strong enough for this shit.

And of course, a pool was one of my must haves and it's rained almost every freakin weekend this summer.

I'm not sure if I give you credit for doing it yourself, or if you're insane.
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      09-10-2018, 09:29 AM   #6
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Good looking kid!
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      09-10-2018, 09:37 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by cmyx6go View Post
After looking for 2+ years, and having to compromise on one of my must haves (basement), we finally made an offer that was accepted this time last year. We closed the end of January. Initially, there were only 3 things we were going to do. 27 things later, we moved in the beginning of May. We ripped down walls, ripped out the staircase, re-did the kitchen, gutted two bathrooms and on and on. If I ever move again, I want to turn the key and move in. I'll paint, that's it. I'm not emotionally strong enough for this shit.

And of course, a pool was one of my must haves and it's rained almost every freakin weekend this summer.

I'm not sure if I give you credit for doing it yourself, or if you're insane.
Hahahaha! Well your view in life is the normal one, and congratulations on the new home!


There is no question about it in my case. I'm completely insane! It's currently so ugly I feel sorry for it, the old part of it is a bit more than a 100 years old, the new part was done in the 60's, together they look absolutely horrible and the garden is a jungle.

Here's a pic of my street view.

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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      09-10-2018, 09:38 AM   #8
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Good looking kid!
Thanks. He is a half monkey, half a troll and I love him to bits.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      09-10-2018, 09:41 AM   #9
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After looking for 2+ years, and having to compromise on one of my must haves (basement), \
I have never figured out why basements are not popular in Texas. Every time we have a tornado watch/warning, I wish I had one.
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      09-10-2018, 09:46 AM   #10
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I have never figured out why basements are not popular in Texas. Every time we have a tornado watch/warning, I wish I had one.
Well, HAVE YOU EVER DONE DRAINING PIPES AROUND A HOUSE WITH A FUCKING BASEMENT??????!!! HAVE YOU!?

Sorry. That was a mild meltdown. I don't know how it showed up there.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      09-10-2018, 09:50 AM   #11
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What is J holding in his hand - looks suspiciously like a tape measure....that you indicated was lost.

You know...I'm pretty wicked with an excavator. You could have paid for my plane ticket over, let me use your husband's cousin of a cousin of a friend's excavator, and everything would have been dug out by now....
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      09-10-2018, 09:58 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
What is J holding in his hand - looks suspiciously like a tape measure....that you indicated was lost.

You know...I'm pretty wicked with an excavator. You could have paid for my plane ticket over, let me use your husband's cousin of a cousin of a friend's excavator, and everything would have been dug out by now....
But are you skilled at using "thingys"?
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      09-10-2018, 09:58 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
What is J holding in his hand - looks suspiciously like a tape measure....that you indicated was lost.

You know...I'm pretty wicked with an excavator. You could have paid for my plane ticket over, let me use your husband's cousin of a cousin of a friend's excavator, and everything would have been dug out by now....
My ribs hurt so much after laughing for an hour when I spotted that from the photo. That's one of the funniest things I've ever managed to fuck up.

And I don't need no help! Stand back, watch this, hold my beer! And we ain't talking about that part of this project at all. There is a slight chance it'll fail completely so I'm going to go about my life like it never happened.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?

Last edited by Lups; 09-11-2018 at 04:42 PM..
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      09-10-2018, 02:56 PM   #14
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"Anyway, I got some bids from excavator contractors and after reviewing them I decided those fuckers are highway robbers and now I'm stuck digging by hand 8 ft under ground by hand for about 250ft. " Lups, for the love of god rent a backhoe/excavator.
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      09-10-2018, 03:22 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Real Dodger View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmyx6go View Post
After looking for 2+ years, and having to compromise on one of my must haves (basement), \
I have never figured out why basements are not popular in Texas. Every time we have a tornado watch/warning, I wish I had one.
Really? I live in Houston and Harvey gave us 60 reasons why. Not to mention we dont have freezes requiring a deep slab thus no need to excavate like in colder climates.
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      09-10-2018, 03:24 PM   #16
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Really? I live in Houston and Harvey gave us 60 reasons why. Not to mention we dont have freezes requiring a deep slab thus no need to excavate like in colder climates.
Not many hurricanes up in Dallas. Lots of Tornado watches/warnings.
Hell, we've had thunder snow here. Not that you need a basement to hide from that.
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      09-10-2018, 03:27 PM   #17
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That kid is 12 ft tall? Think you have 6 more feet deep to go.
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      09-10-2018, 03:32 PM   #18
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I usually pay someone to do this Lups. Never understood why people wanna tackle these kinda projects themselves.

I rather have some milk from the bag tbh...
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      09-10-2018, 03:33 PM   #19
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Were I running around, looking for the tape, and found the kid in the hole with it, there might be broken ribs, but not mine. . .


still trying to find the street.
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      09-10-2018, 03:57 PM   #20
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I'm trying to sort the facts here.

you are living in your great aunt's house that:

has no heating;

has broken windows;

the house essentially has to be redone top to bottom;

you have to trench 8 feet down for 250 feet;

a tree crashed onto the property causing some damage;

you dug a sewer line with busted ribs;

your husband and kids hate the place;

your aunt wants to sell it;

and

at some time subsequent to this you made an offer for a house that has straight corners with a roof that doesn't leak and you backed out of the deal.

Did I parse that correctly?
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      09-10-2018, 04:04 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Sea-Tac View Post
I'm trying to sort the facts here.

you are living in your great aunt's house that:

has no heating;

has broken windows;

the house essentially has to be redone top to bottom;

you have to trench 8 feet down for 250 feet;

a tree crashed onto the property causing some damage;

you dug a sewer line with busted ribs;

your husband and kids hate the place;

your aunt wants to sell it;

and

at some time subsequent to this you made an offer for a house that has straight corners with a roof that doesn't leak and you backed out of the deal.

Did I parse that correctly?
I believe this is the damage the crashing tree caused
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      09-10-2018, 04:43 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky John View Post
"Anyway, I got some bids from excavator contractors and after reviewing them I decided those fuckers are highway robbers and now I'm stuck digging by hand 8 ft under ground by hand for about 250ft. " Lups, for the love of god rent a backhoe/excavator.
"8 ft under ground by hand for about 250ft."

Assuming you're not exaggerating too much Lups, please hire an excavator. If nothing else, see if you can hire the equipment and do it yourself.

I spent the best part of a year leveling the back yard in our house a decade ago, and still have back pain because I didn't use the shovel right (Edit: and because I was in my 20's I just assumed it would get better on its own and didn't go to the physio until like 5 years later. It's not 'back pain' back pain, it's like 'using the wrong muscle' back pain ... which I'm still not treating in my 30's and will probably regret in 20 years time).

8ft is a deep hole. That's a PITA to dig out by hand as a post hole, let alone as a 250ft trench.

Hire an excavator.

Last edited by xQx; 09-10-2018 at 07:54 PM..
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