04-08-2023, 08:51 PM | #45 |
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^This
Maybe this is old-school now, but the bride used to send a link or whatever to her registry. If we were close friends, I'd contact her or the groom ask what they needed, not what they wanted. What they wanted was up to them to pay for. Everyone understood that simple fact. The only weddings we've been to in many years have been those of the children of close friends. We just ask the parents what to get the kids. These parents pay for the weddings, including the groom's parents stepping-up when the bride's parents can't quite swing what the parents and their kids have decided on. The parents are locked-in on keeping the whole thing as stress-free as possible for the kids and with keeping a lid on needless extravagances. Old-school: it's still a practical way of going at it and probably still popular with some families.
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04-08-2023, 09:08 PM | #46 |
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'Kids' these days, although even approx 20 years ago when my friends got married I was so shocked to find out they went into debt/got a loan to 'finance' their wedding, totally incomprehensible to me. Funny thing is they are probably divorced now.
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04-08-2023, 10:59 PM | #47 | |
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Actually as I wrote that I remembered I also went to my sister in laws wedding. She actually did it at one of the all inclusive resorts in DR. That's why I didn't remember at first because that was just like a vacation with a quick ceremony one day. I did enjoy that one, but I don't think it counts. As for gift... no idea... I'm sure my gf got them something. Luckily with the very small group of people I know I don't foresee any weddings in my future. Plus now that I know that these days they are just elaborate gofundme's I'll make sure to decline. |
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04-09-2023, 05:59 PM | #48 |
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What is the suggested gift amount for someone who is sent a wedding invitation and declines it?????
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04-09-2023, 06:19 PM | #49 |
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-$100?
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04-09-2023, 09:05 PM | #50 | |
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04-10-2023, 08:36 AM | #51 |
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Wedding invites have become insane, depending on your culture i guess. Wife's family are Croatian but use a very similar system tot he Italian Booster style. So we are invited, I am out a dress and other garb for the wife, minimum $150 a plate and way more if we know them well. So $500 minimum.
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04-10-2023, 09:10 AM | #52 |
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This reminds me of the phrase, "live within your means". I remember a trend a decade or so ago when Wedding guests started a "house fund" for the couple so they could raise enough for a downpayment then brides started to look short term with "pay to come to my Wedding fund". Now, it looks like brides are making their wedding a profitable endeavor. Thanks, no thanks good luck to you and bye.
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04-10-2023, 09:11 AM | #53 |
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Who are they, you know them?
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04-10-2023, 09:13 AM | #54 | |
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04-10-2023, 12:36 PM | #55 |
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Having a recommended gift total seems a bit tasteless. I do like the idea though of people asking for money gifts vs registering for a bunch of items. If for some reason I had a redo on our wedding I would have asked for cash vs registering at a few stores. So many items we registered for were returned, or by now donated or sold in a garage sale.
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04-10-2023, 02:30 PM | #56 |
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If you have to ask for $, then you probably shouldn't be doing it, or at the very least, you've over extended your ability or have beer pockets, and champagne taste!
Same goes for a cash bar, or a non-open bar! Live within your means, and if you need to save more before having your party, then do so. But don't skimp on the guests! There's a reason you're throwing a party, and it's not to make the guests pay for it! Just my opinion... The point of hosting a party, of any kind, is because you wish to entertain. You want to take care of those who are taking their time to visit you. Some will do so at an expense already to themselves, ie, flying, hotels, etc. To then expect them to pay, or set a bar that they pay a particular amount is just counterintuitive to what it is all about. If I had received a suggested donation amount, I would probably only give that, and they would most definitely be less than I would have given by my own device! Not to be spiteful, but to meet that expectation! For a wedding, I would always approximate what the per head cost was, and usually at least double that as a gift! As a minimum!!! But that's just me... So... Have the party, and enjoy! Expect to spend $ and not re-coup it all. That's it! Enjoy the time, the smiles and everyone sharing a moment in time together... This is priceless! Good Luck! |
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04-11-2023, 11:22 AM | #57 |
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What's the price their asking? $300? $700?
Just load up a Dave and Busters game card to the amount they're asking and use that as their gift. Everyone's happy. |
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04-11-2023, 11:24 AM | #58 |
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tacky af
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04-11-2023, 11:29 AM | #59 |
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You can always wait up to 1 year after the wedding to send a gift, that's old school wedding rules/etiquette. A friend used to do this, plus if they don't make the first year you owe nothing.
My gift is not determined till I get there, usually have $100-250/p in cash. Good apps +$, cheese & crackers -$, open bar at least happy hour plus 1hr +$, cash bar -$. Sometimes I give a bonus for a tasty cake, cause most choose cake looks over actually good tasting cake.
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04-12-2023, 05:56 PM | #61 |
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It's been a while since I went to one (no family in the age range, not because I'm a cheap bastage), but doesn't anyone have a $ dance any more???
Squeeze a little new meat, drop a C-note in the basket. If she breathes just right on my neck, I might make a second visit. Otherwise, I'm off to the groom line.
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