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      04-26-2018, 10:40 AM   #1
qba335i
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"Lazy" GF... How to motivate?

How do you motivate your GFs/partners?

My girlfriend is in sales (management role), travels pretty frequently and works 50+ hours a week. Her job is pretty stressful/demanding and by the time she gets home all she wants to do it lay on the couch (nap), watch mindless TV and sit on Instagram.

I am trying to motivate her to do something outside of work, but it's not going well. She is pretty sensitive (and I am very direct) so it always ends up in an argument that she is not good enough for me and that our jobs are different... and it goes downhill pretty fast.

Example: She was traveling most of last week - came back home on Friday night. On Tuesday around 6pm I told her that by the time I get back from gym (9:30PM) she has to organize her clothes as they were all over the second bedroom and finally clean the receipts (she needs to submit them for reimbursement and they were on the table since Sunday). I also mentioned that it's a 4th day that she is on the couch and it would be nice if she finally signed up for gym... Fast forward a few days and she is still beyond pissed.
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      04-26-2018, 10:42 AM   #2
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Bail.

Trust an older man, take the fucking advice. The rest of your life is a long time, be absolutely fucking merciless.

Move on.
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      04-26-2018, 10:44 AM   #3
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My own wife is an executive and sometimes has longer than average work weeks. Although I hear you, I personally respect anyone including hard working women. That being said, I suggest NOT going too hard on your lady. Maybe if she had a normal 8hr work day... Otherwise, I'm pretty certain she will appreciate your patience and understanding or just handling those chores.
My $.02
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      04-26-2018, 10:44 AM   #4
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Agreed.

GTFO of that relationship.

But if you are like most of my friends, don't follow my advice and keep complaining about your relationship. lol

She's pissed because you are correct and called her out on it.
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      04-26-2018, 10:46 AM   #5
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You: I don't like my unmotivated girlfriend.

Me: Get a new girlfriend.

Thank me later,
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      04-26-2018, 10:46 AM   #6
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      04-26-2018, 10:47 AM   #7
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dont be a dbag and let her relax

what do you do? is it comparable to her 50+ hr/week, travel and stress?
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      04-26-2018, 10:47 AM   #8
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on to the next. Seems like your goals and hers don't align.
P.S. I don't blame her and you seem to have OCD.
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      04-26-2018, 10:50 AM   #9
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If it's that big of an issue for you and it doesn't look like she's going to or wants to change, maybe you're in the wrong relationship. Some people are just homebodies.

And maybe she's thinking to herself "how do I get my boyfriend to be more like me?"
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      04-26-2018, 10:50 AM   #10
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I know it sucks but Alfisti ^ is spot on. Not everybody likes the gym or cares about certain things like being keeping their financial s in order or clothes cleaned and put away.
If that is what you are looking for may not be her. No matter how much you stir it oil and water never combine well.
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      04-26-2018, 10:58 AM   #11
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Double down, ask her if she is comfortable with the weight she is at.
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      04-26-2018, 10:58 AM   #12
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I'm not sure she would qualify as being lazy.
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      04-26-2018, 11:01 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
Bail.

Trust an older man, take the fucking advice. The rest of your life is a long time, be absolutely fucking merciless.

Move on.
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      04-26-2018, 11:03 AM   #14
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Use physics - A body in motion tends to stay in motion while a body at rest tends to stay at rest. She needs to break the cycle of laziness and it will be a bitch but once she gets rolling (not a pun lol) then she will want to exercise. If she can't understand simple maths then move on
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      04-26-2018, 11:05 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheWatchGuy View Post
dont be a dbag and let her relax

what do you do? is it comparable to her 50+ hr/week, travel and stress?
I usually try to be supportive and let her relax after those trips, but weekend should be more than enough. I am up around 6am every day and go to sleep around 11-12.

I work in finance, and although I usually work just 40h a week I have to commit a decent amount of time outside of work. I have to read like 2h a day of market research reports plus study time for some designation.
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      04-26-2018, 11:06 AM   #16
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No offense, we're all different, but I think I'd bail on both of you. Her for leaving her crap around untouched for 4 days while she lays around, and you for making demands that come with a time-stamp.
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      04-26-2018, 11:06 AM   #17
qba335i
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BdSM n54iS View Post
Use physics - A body in motion tends to stay in motion while a body at rest tends to stay at rest. She needs to break the cycle of laziness and it will be a bitch but once she gets rolling (not a pun lol) then she will want to exercise. If she can't understand simple maths then move on
That's what am telling her. That she needs to push through it until it becomes a habit...
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      04-26-2018, 11:11 AM   #18
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Playing devils advocate, are you doing anything that she may be unhappy about? If you want to fix this, talk it out with her. Relationships are all about communication. Instead of telling her what to do, ask her what's wrong and if there's something that's keeping her from doing adult shit. If she shuts down and you're unhappy, give her the ultimatum. Tell her you're unhappy. If she's not willing to at least talk about and work on things together, there's no point of being together. It's a partnership.
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      04-26-2018, 11:16 AM   #19
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I'm pretty sure it's typical fat ass behaviour.
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      04-26-2018, 11:21 AM   #20
qba335i
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Originally Posted by ///M Power-Belgium View Post
I'm pretty sure it's typical fat ass behaviour.
She is still size 0... but it will eventually change if she maintains this lifestyle.
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      04-26-2018, 11:21 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leopard print View Post
If it's that big of an issue for you and it doesn't look like she's going to or wants to change, maybe you're in the wrong relationship. Some people are just homebodies.
It's not that at all.

It's the "she is sensitive" and is "still royally pissed".

Typical modern woman ploys to beat you into submission, have kids with a women like that and you face two options, live in absolute fuckign misery or lose full time access to your kids and watch another bloke parent them.

GTFO now, she's immature, self centred, childish and will tantrum when she doesn't get her way, I can smell from here.
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      04-26-2018, 11:29 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
It's not that at all.

It's the "she is sensitive" and is "still royally pissed".

Typical modern woman ploys to beat you into submission, have kids with a women like that and you face two options, live in absolute fuckign misery or lose full time access to your kids and watch another bloke parent them.

GTFO now, she's immature, self centred, childish and will tantrum when she doesn't get her way, I can smell from here.
Lmao.. damn bro, sounds like you're channeling from personal experiences tbh.
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