01-24-2023, 11:04 AM | #8185 | |
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Absolutely agree with this, initial physical attraction is not a choice. But it's not the be all end all and it's certainly not anything you can't overcome IF you're not her type or she isn't yours. |
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01-24-2023, 12:02 PM | #8186 |
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Most women use it for validation (similar to instagram likes), and many guys use it for FWB/hookups.
Be different, be interesting. Why would someone want to meet you vs. the 100 other guys swiping on her? A female friend showed me her profile once on her phone, and it was hilariously sad. A bunch of dudes just messaging and saying "wyd" or "hey" or "your cute". Women like a challenge. Have a witty bio, or ask them a question that kind of pokes fun at them without being insulting. If you match with someone be engaging/flirty and ask to chat over coffee. For most women asking them to come to your house right away is an automatic no. Get her laughing over coffee or drinks first, otherwise you seem like a serial killer. I'm in decent shape and not horrible looking, but I also had low matches on Bumble or Tinder. With those apps the women have to take initiative for the most part. Obviously with Tinder they can match with you, and then you can chat, but they still have to swipe on you before any conversation can be had. I like Hinge, because you can comment first on their photos or prompts and make them curious.
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01-24-2023, 12:15 PM | #8188 |
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So glad I grew up in an era where you had to actually talk to a person to make a judgement.
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01-24-2023, 12:19 PM | #8189 |
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Don’t be a tinderella or get tinderitis.
There is a wiki how for most things. This one is actually okay: https://www.wikihow.com/Meet-Someone...-Online-Dating Here are some more okay points: https://www.shondaland.com/live/fami...app-heres-how/ Hope it works out for you. Remember comfort is the poison. So get out there. More ways to it than a screen and keyboard. Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear. At my man Turkish Pickle where that dating thread at?! Our brother here might need some place to share his experiences. |
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01-24-2023, 12:28 PM | #8190 |
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Pickle is toast He got himself banned somehow.
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01-24-2023, 12:38 PM | #8191 |
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01-24-2023, 12:41 PM | #8192 |
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01-24-2023, 12:47 PM | #8193 | |
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Exactly... these were better times and defined people in more meaningful ways. I met my GF thru work... but it was a cultural / meaningful connection... not looks, not attributes and other BS.... the apps were universally a waste of time.
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01-24-2023, 01:55 PM | #8195 |
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Happily married for over 2 Decades. Here for the comments...
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01-24-2023, 02:04 PM | #8197 |
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I don't know, his profile shows banned. His last activity was a post last night.
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I thought I was a good person but the way I react when people drive slowly in the left lane would suggest otherwise
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01-24-2023, 03:05 PM | #8199 | |
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01-24-2023, 03:25 PM | #8200 | |
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01-24-2023, 03:34 PM | #8201 |
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I’ll post an unpopular view: If you’re in the dating scene you should strongly consider improving your physical appearance. Right, wrong, or indifferent, people’s initial impressions are largely influenced by appearance – it’s proven human psychology. Make sure you put your best foot forward for yourself, first. If you’re fat, unfit, unkept, wearing shitty clothes, etc., imagine the difference if you spent a few months getting healthy, fit, and improving your appearance? Take an inventory of what you can and should improve and dedicate the effort to do this – the self confidence boost would be massive and make you that much more attractive to the opposite sex.
Shaming people for their weight and looks is terrible. And I’m glad as a society that we’re becoming more tolerant/accepting in this space. But let’s not mesh words here. Dating is a fierce competition, and you are being judged harshly, so are you putting your best self forward? |
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01-24-2023, 03:39 PM | #8202 |
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01-24-2023, 04:01 PM | #8203 |
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Same here, for 4 decades.
Back then, it was meet through work, friends, non-work activities and hobbies, clubs and bars, open-to-the-public short courses, the Marina Safeway, and, possibly, family. If you were out and about at that time (60s and 70s), you were going to meet plenty of possibles. It just wasn't an issue.
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01-24-2023, 04:03 PM | #8204 | |
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For Paragraph 2 - i kind of disagree on the weight part... if someone has a disorder or simply cannot lose weight, that's one thing... but any other form of what you just mentioned promotes an unhealthy populace and that's why most of this country is now fat or entirely out of shape... its absolutely the worst in this country vs any other... i DO NOT agree this is the right approach
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01-24-2023, 05:15 PM | #8205 | |
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01-24-2023, 05:16 PM | #8206 | |
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If you want to reduce obesity at the societal level you need to address root causes: big agriculture, sugar subsidies, prevalence of HFCS, portion sizes, fast and quick serve, food advertising, standard american diet, food deserts, lower income access to healthy foods, poor quality food served in schools, etc. If you want to help yourself or a friend lose weight and be healthy LONG-TERM, the above is relevant, but you also need to understand and manage the physiological and psychological causes, habits, dependencies, triggers, etc. And to be pragmatic cause I know this is a hot topic, nothing good comes from fat shaming. But also nothing good comes from fat people pretending they don't have a problem and hiding behind body positivity and anti-body shaming. Lizzo may be beautiful [sic], but she's morbidly obese, a terrible role model, and is going to die decades early. |
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